What's on your list?

Do you realise that you have a whole range of emotional needs?
Willard Harley suggests you look for someone who can provide you with:
• Admiration
• Affection
• Conversation
• Domestic support
• Family commitment
• Financial support
• Honesty and openness
• Physical attractiveness
• Sexual fulfilment
• Recreational companionship.
He adds a relationship has a better chance of not only surviving, but thriving, if you and your partner each rank these in the same order of priority.
Meanwhile, author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are 10 virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:
• Kindness
• Optimism
• Courage
• Loyalty
• Tolerance
• Flexibility
• Beauty
• Humour
• Honesty
• Intelligence.
Do you have them in you? Do you see all of them in your partner?
Find out more about them in the free book – can you find it on the site?

Happy Valentine's Day

Where ever you are this Valentine’s Day remember that you are loved.
There is always someone who loves you!
Maybe not as and as much as you’d like…
…which is why we wrote out book – so that you can find the love you deserve without making the mistakes we did.
Download it now here and get started on the journey – or reread it if you have already downloaded.
Love – Kris & Guy.

Our most important blog

One of the biggest, yet unrecognised, challenges for many people today is how to meet their human need for self esteem.
This need was recognised by Abraham Maslow in his famous pyramid of human needs, needs that we each need fulfilled in our life. It was ranked the fourth highest/second highest need.
And many of us are struggling with it today!
Many people think it is ‘ego’, but that is incorrect.
Others think they can fulfil their need for self-esteem by buying a fancy handbag, shoes, clothes or other branded item to suggest that they have ‘made it’, that they are better than others.
Increasing population, urbanisation and overall competition sends many people along the path that they have to be better than others, that they have to be near the ‘top’ (what ever that means to them) to have self esteem.
Sooner or later they realise that is not enough.
Others serve people, be good, etc to try and feel better about themselves, to achieve positive self esteem.
But true self-esteem is where we/you feel good about yourself.
It is where you know are worthwhile.
Branded goods do not do that.
It can only be achieved by others recognising and reiterating that you are a worthy person.
And the people who care for you are the ones who are most important in this respect.
Accordingly, you need a partner who says such – says that you are a worthy, a great individual.
This is a major aspect of true love. One that makes you feel even more loved.
Does your lover do that?
Do you for your friends, family, loves, partner?
Find out more secrets about true love -download the book now (it’s free as we want to share the secrets to love that we have found).

How true are you?

You can be the most wonderful and lovely person, true to yourself, but if you don’t help your partner meet their needs the relationship will struggle.
To make a relationship the best it can be, help your partner meet their needs – from providing safety and security through the different levels to helping them actualize and become who they truly are.
By helping each other be truly yourself you will grow true love!
Accordingly, don’t forget to speak up about your own needs, which ones are most important to you and how they can be fulfilled. Doing this is also a great way to increase that connection between you and your partner.
The truer you are to yourself, to your partner, the truer love can be.


Still looking for the perfect gift for your valentine?
Here’s the best one you can give – the gift of true love.
We’ve opted to provide our research into love as a free gift to you, to all, so that the world can be full of more love. It is full of real and practical help – not just  a few embellished platitudes. Check it out in one click here – https://www.findtruelove.invanuatu.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2011/08/How-to-Find-Your-True-Love.pdf
Happy Valentine to you and yours!
Kris & Guy

Love or friendship?

Depth and intimacy of connection is the difference between a friendship and a loving relationship.
If you can’t open your heart how do you expect someone else to open theirs?
If you open your heart and someone doesn’t open theirs, or can’t communicate well, you need to let them know. If you don’t open to each other you’ll remain acquaintances doing a dance of daily domestic life and never truly connect.
Seek to share your inner most self, your deepest dreams and desires, maybe even fears, with each other. Intimacy means there is no privacy. You open your heart, yourself.
When you share your inner most selves you create connections beyond the physical, beyond the mental. Creating such connections lifts your love out of the ordinary.
Try to see the many facets of others; try to know your partner’s inner most self, their inner most thoughts and feelings, their deepest stirrings. By doing this you’ll know your own deeper stirrings too.
You can never truly know your partner, as they – like you – are continually changing, growing and interacting. As thing continually change around and between you, you need to continually revisit and reconnect with each other.
To be truly together is forgiving and understanding that your partner is as human as you are. They’ll commit mistakes, just as you commit them. Accept their humanity with all the frailty you are prone to. Add a little forgiveness.
Above all, make them feel safe and secure with you. This is key. Just as you want to be with people who make your feel, certain, safe and secure; so too do others, especially your partner.
One reason for this is that finding and building such heartfelt connections with a partner enables your energy to not only flow, but to also expand. As it expands it can also create, it can create true love.

Find your Valentines #3

Expand your love-list
Now for something practical to get you started towards finding your true love. We all have some idea of who we’re looking for – someone beautiful, blonde or dark, tall and handsome, fit, with a good car, maybe a house or more.
The problem here is that these are physical attributes: we tend to think of our perfect partner, our true love, in physical terms. By doing this you limit yourself to physical love!
True love is much more than something physical. To obtain a truer love you need to think beyond just the physical, expand to include those greater intangibles.
How often do you think of your true love in terms of having the most wonderful personality, always happy, caring, loving you? Why don’t you do this? You need to – it’s the only way to get the true love you deserve.
Consider how many of us want to find a partner to ultimately reproduce with to continue our genes. While many of us want our physical attributes to be passed to the next generation, don’t you also want your personality or character passed onto them as well? Don’t you want children who will ultimately be happy, confident and content?
So why don’t you concentrate as much on those non-physical aspects of potential partners! This is the key wisdom of finding your true love – look for someone beyond the physical, someone who’s personality, who’s attitude and perspective best mesh with yours.