How to keep up with change

There is so much change in the world today – wrought by the COVID pandemic, tightening supply chains, work pressures, war and more – impacting us and our loves.
How can you better cope with all these changes?
Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect we or our partner won’t.
Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking?
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love.
A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either. 
The woman the man knew when they first started going out is not there now, so much has happened and changed.
Managing change is key to any relationship that comes under new demands and pressure: you have to figure out how to give love to your partner. You need to talk, listen and explore these changes to continue to love through challenging times.
Don’t think that pushing or pressuring your partner will change them. It generally makes them become more entrenched, less open, less safe and less secure, less giving; especially less giving of love.
Pushing someone for their love is similar to trying to take it, to trying to take their energy. If you ‘need’ love, then remember how you’re seeking ‘romantic’ love and that there’s likely a gap within you and your energy flow that only you can fill or move on from.
A better approach is to give love despite what they are or do. (This is what many scriptures suggest.)

How to keep up with change
As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.
Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.

How well do you know your partner?
Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life – as life changes?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake.
Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams.
Explore, experience and relate again; start again. Try to connect more.
To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust.
One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use, such as dinners, date nights, gifts, anything that enables the two of you to spend quality time together where you can communicate.
If you have trouble talking, expressing, research more on ways how to improve this. The internet is a great way to find lots of useful information on this and other ways to connect. (Don’t forget to tell your partner that this is what you’re doing, in case they wonder why you have changed, as this change could make them anxious.)
An exercise to help you work on this is to take three days where the two of you share ways to improve the safety and security of each other in the relationship. In the morning of each day, consider what you can do to help your partner feel more secure about themself and what they say. Then in the afternoon, share a secret which your partner did not previously know about you. Discuss, talk, and communicate about where you have been, where you want to go and how to get there. Having an aim, something to work towards, helps start connections.
Do you know how your partner best likes to receive love?
Do they prefer to be told, to be shown through touch or through physical things, through some other way or a combination of ways? Ask.
Then simply give love.

The power of love

Did you know that love is an energy?
The fact that your energy cannot be destroyed means that it has to flow or be stored. The choice is yours.
When you store energy this can be as fat, a fixation on objects or a mental or emotional attachment to something or someone. This is why personal attachment to objects, events or people can cause suffering, as it stops your energy flowing.
You cannot store the energy of true love: it has to flow, which is why you have to give it, as giving love enables it to flow.
How you do that is up to you.
One of the best ways to get your energy flowing better is by doing what you do in a loving manner. By doing this you get it to flow more harmoniously. Remember, love is the reward for the bringing together, integration and harmonious flow of your energies.
To get your energy to flow harmoniously might mean that you may need to let things go, such as the past, regret and the like. You can either keep your energy flowing around and around the same old circuits or you can direct it to create new ones that might help it flow better.
Letting your energy flow from a place of love, living in a loving manner, is a good way to create new ways for it to flow.
Also, make sure that your energy, and love, is flowing in the right direction. For example, sometimes we get stressed and focus energy on the stress and end up being even more stressed.
Focus your energy Energy goes where attention flows.
Find out more in the free ebook – download it from this site now. 

Happy Valentine's Day

Where ever you are this Valentine’s Day remember that you are loved.
There is always someone who loves you!
Maybe not as and as much as you’d like…
…which is why we wrote out book – so that you can find the love you deserve without making the mistakes we did.
Download it now here and get started on the journey – or reread it if you have already downloaded.
Love – Kris & Guy.

Our most important blog

SECRET #1
One of the biggest, yet unrecognised, challenges for many people today is how to meet their human need for self esteem.
This need was recognised by Abraham Maslow in his famous pyramid of human needs, needs that we each need fulfilled in our life. It was ranked the fourth highest/second highest need.
And many of us are struggling with it today!
Many people think it is ‘ego’, but that is incorrect.
Others think they can fulfil their need for self-esteem by buying a fancy handbag, shoes, clothes or other branded item to suggest that they have ‘made it’, that they are better than others.
Increasing population, urbanisation and overall competition sends many people along the path that they have to be better than others, that they have to be near the ‘top’ (what ever that means to them) to have self esteem.
Sooner or later they realise that is not enough.
Others serve people, be good, etc to try and feel better about themselves, to achieve positive self esteem.
But true self-esteem is where we/you feel good about yourself.
It is where you know are worthwhile.
Branded goods do not do that.
It can only be achieved by others recognising and reiterating that you are a worthy person.
And the people who care for you are the ones who are most important in this respect.
Accordingly, you need a partner who says such – says that you are a worthy, a great individual.
This is a major aspect of true love. One that makes you feel even more loved.
Does your lover do that?
Do you for your friends, family, loves, partner?
YOU SHOULD!
Find out more secrets about true love -download the book now (it’s free as we want to share the secrets to love that we have found).

LOVE & CHANGE

Everything, including love, changes throughout your life.
You’ll progress through different stages and as you do your relationships and love will change too.
CoupleThere are at least four phases you might progress through. These include:
• Student phase – during which you learn about yourself and the world, where your energy expands from physical to mental
• Family and social phase – where you comprehend meaning from what you’ve learnt, where your energy expands and connects
• Contribution phase – where you apply the information you’ve learnt, where you give energy
• An integration phase – where you integrate yourself, and your energy, with the world around you.
These phases involve a transition from a focus on the physical, to the emotional then to the mind, spirit and finally to love.
These changes can take time or be quite quick. For instance, there may come a time in your life that you will go through what Wayne Dyer calls a “shift”, where you move from a focus on physical and social aspects of life to something more spiritual and loving. This is sometimes called a mid-life crisis.
At this time priorities change. For some, this is a shift from focusing on the family, on trying to be good enough and fitting in to a greater focus on personal growth, improving self esteem, spirituality, happiness and forgiveness. For men, it’s a shift from focusing on creating wealth, adventure, achievement, pleasure and obtaining respect to focusing on spirituality, personal peace, family, finding purpose and emotional honesty with themself.
There are also phases of love that you may progress through. We’ve found there are five main phases:
• Attraction
• Romance
• Commitment
• Challenge
• Compassion – true love.
To find out more about these phases download your free copy while you can.

The science of finding true love

Finding the ‘right’ partner is key to the quality, and even length, of your life. This one decision can determine 90 percent of your happiness – or misery. So it’s important to get it right.
So how do you find the right partner, your soul mate?
Here’s what you’ve been missing, the key we discovered that can help you find your soul mate.
It’s that your soul is related to the way energy flows within you and therefore finding your soul mate is a matter of finding someone with whom your energy best connects!
A soul mate adds to and amplifies your energy – and your energy theirs.
Unfortunately, you cannot easily ‘see’ how your energy could connect when assessing potential partners. It will vary from person to person and only you can sense and determine this.
As soon as you look beyond the physical you will see, be attracted to and meet, a lot more people who could be a good match for you.
There are many people who could be a great energy fit for you.
There are almost 7 billion people on the planet, which means that there are hundreds if not thousands of people with whom your energy could connect well.
This means you are not looking for “the one”, not looking for a needle in a haystack. There are likely to be several potential partners that you can relate with and grow love with!
This also means that you don’t have to compete for the same person as your friends.
To find someone with whom you can experience true love requires real contact and connection. Unfortunately, many of us are more comfortable writing short texts or emails to one another, rather than having a real conversation or contact with another person. But avoiding actual contact by hiding behind a computer isn’t the answer.
You need to get out and meet real people to see with whom your energy meshes best.
Download the free book to find out more….
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Finding true love starts with you

Instead of trying to find someone who will love you, start by making yourself more loving.
Stop worrying what everyone else thinks of you. What do you think of yourself?
Unless you can find warmth, happiness and love in your relationship with yourself you’ll struggle to find these in your relationships with others. If you can’t be nice to yourself, or nice to those around you, how are you going to be nice to someone whom you’re attracted and would like to be nice back to you?
You’re the only one who can control your love energy. Before you enter a relationship you should have your own energy flowing well and balanced.
Start by caring about yourself, or as some people say “love yourself first”.iStock_000004938973XSmall
Don’t be hard on yourself, be soft and gentle towards yourself.
Learn to accept yourself, your own short comings.
Learn how to forgive yourself, again and again and again.
Learn to give to yourself, to let things go, to let your energy flow.
Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or without love. It’s simply not true that you cannot have love without a partner. You can have love even if you are on your own.
Fall in love with the life you have. Enjoy your own company. If you can you won’t feel so lonely.
Most people search for love outside themselves.
For example, some people believe they will be happier “if” they do this or will be perfect if they get that; “if” they become like everyone else (whom they assume are actually happy themselves). This is why some of us believe that getting married will make us happy.
If you are unhappy and single, you could well be unhappy and married!
Marriage is not a solution to personal, psychological or emotional problems. Rather, marriage exacerbates them.
If you are an unhappy single person, you will be an unhappy spouse.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life before marriage, work on making your single self happy first. Then any marriage will have a much better chance of success.

GROW YOUR LOVE

Another secret to true love is to add more love energy.
You can add (or subtract) energy to your love. The move constructive energy you add the better.
It’s a matter of finding that right energy, right pattern, right love that adds harmoniously to yours.
This is how caring words, candles, music, gifts and the like add to romance – they add to and amplify energy.
The key is to add lots of other types of energy, in particular non-physical types like mental and spiritual energy.
Adding more energy simply makes what you already have stronger – simple science: add more love energy and you’ll make your love stronger.
This is a little like pushing that swing that’s already in motion, the extra pushes can have a large affect in making the swing, your love, rise even higher.
Take your love to a higher level by focusing extra energy on your partner and your relationship.
This often requires you being less self- or task-focused.
Put aside your own needs and focus on the needs of your partner.
Being romantic is all about adding more energy. Those candles, music, touch, talking, dining are all about adding more loving energy to make the situation – your love – greater. There are many things that can do this.
True love is where your energy adds to that of your partner – and theirs adds to yours.
Find out more in the free e-book – download it for lots more tips.