Are you hurting?

A major reason for the pain, the ups and downs, is often related to why you want love and how you go about finding it.
The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested that pain is at one end of a scale with pleasure at the other – and that most of us swing between the two. Most people seek pleasure, seek love, to cover pain. (Researchers at the University of Michigan found some emotional pain is conveyed along the same nerve pathways as physical pain and is one reason why the pain of heartbreak seems as real as an actual injury.)

However, this traps us in romantic love as we ‘need’ it to hide and balance our hurt.
The ancient philosopher was almost right: love is indeed a matter of balance, in particular balancing your energy.
Swings in your emotions (energy in motion) are showing you that your energy is trying to balance but is having trouble.
When you are in pain it’s generally a sign that you need to get your energy flowing, expanding and balancing.
A major cause of problems and pain is that your view of the world doesn’t match reality; that what you’re experiencing doesn’t match what you believe, feel or think. For example, if someone says they love you but their actions suggest otherwise this will create chaos in your thoughts (brain waves or EEGs) and emotions (heart waves or ECGs) and pain can result as you try to reconcile the difference.
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Another cause of emotional pain is uncertainty and fear. It’s easy to get caught in this pattern of reliance on another to make you feel better. But this is a short-term solution.
Another cause of pain is perceptions and responses to what has happened in the past. Be careful that when you enter a new relationship that you don’t bring ‘baggage’, or energy patterns, from previous ones. Even though you might think you’ve left it behind you may have not.
Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now?
This blog is telling you to find more in the book – download it free now – www.findtruelovebook.com
(Some people ask why give away all these tips free? Simple – don’t make the same mistakes we did, learn from ours – we did. And doesn’t the world need a little more love right now!)

LOVE IS EVERYWHERE

Love is not as scarce a commodity as it is often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it.
We all have it to give.
Turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down.
Remember, it’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
How do you do this?
Take the approach of a head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization. She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way: do they have similar ideals to you; do they think of others and work together with them? Or do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it? Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Tip – Some of the best advice we’ve heard about how to find a potential partner is to seek someone who is similar to you.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Still looking for the perfect gift for your valentine?
Here’s the best one you can give – the gift of true love.
We’ve opted to provide our research into love as a free gift to you, to all, so that the world can be full of more love. It is full of real and practical help – not just  a few embellished platitudes. Check it out in one click here – https://www.findtruelove.invanuatu.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2011/08/How-to-Find-Your-True-Love.pdf
Happy Valentine to you and yours!
Kris & Guy

Love or friendship?

Depth and intimacy of connection is the difference between a friendship and a loving relationship.
If you can’t open your heart how do you expect someone else to open theirs?
If you open your heart and someone doesn’t open theirs, or can’t communicate well, you need to let them know. If you don’t open to each other you’ll remain acquaintances doing a dance of daily domestic life and never truly connect.
Seek to share your inner most self, your deepest dreams and desires, maybe even fears, with each other. Intimacy means there is no privacy. You open your heart, yourself.
When you share your inner most selves you create connections beyond the physical, beyond the mental. Creating such connections lifts your love out of the ordinary.
Try to see the many facets of others; try to know your partner’s inner most self, their inner most thoughts and feelings, their deepest stirrings. By doing this you’ll know your own deeper stirrings too.
You can never truly know your partner, as they – like you – are continually changing, growing and interacting. As thing continually change around and between you, you need to continually revisit and reconnect with each other.
To be truly together is forgiving and understanding that your partner is as human as you are. They’ll commit mistakes, just as you commit them. Accept their humanity with all the frailty you are prone to. Add a little forgiveness.
Above all, make them feel safe and secure with you. This is key. Just as you want to be with people who make your feel, certain, safe and secure; so too do others, especially your partner.
One reason for this is that finding and building such heartfelt connections with a partner enables your energy to not only flow, but to also expand. As it expands it can also create, it can create true love.