There are just 36 questions that you are supposed to ask someone – questions that can help you fall in love (if you believe some online posts).
What are those questions? – See more here.
The issue is that if your answers don’t much, you don’t have much chance…
…we think you’re better off reading the tips in our own book to find true love.
What do you think?
There is so much change in the world today – wrought by the COVID pandemic, tightening supply chains, work pressures, war and more – impacting us and our loves.
How can you better cope with all these changes?
Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect we or our partner won’t.
Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking?
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love.
A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either. The woman the man knew when they first started going out is not there now, so much has happened and changed.
Managing change is key to any relationship that comes under new demands and pressure: you have to figure out how to give love to your partner. You need to talk, listen and explore these changes to continue to love through challenging times.
Don’t think that pushing or pressuring your partner will change them. It generally makes them become more entrenched, less open, less safe and less secure, less giving; especially less giving of love.
Pushing someone for their love is similar to trying to take it, to trying to take their energy. If you ‘need’ love, then remember how you’re seeking ‘romantic’ love and that there’s likely a gap within you and your energy flow that only you can fill or move on from.
A better approach is to give love despite what they are or do. (This is what many scriptures suggest.)
How to keep up with change
As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.
Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.
How well do you know your partner?
Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life – as life changes?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake.
Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams.
Explore, experience and relate again; start again. Try to connect more.
To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust.
One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use, such as dinners, date nights, gifts, anything that enables the two of you to spend quality time together where you can communicate.
If you have trouble talking, expressing, research more on ways how to improve this. The internet is a great way to find lots of useful information on this and other ways to connect. (Don’t forget to tell your partner that this is what you’re doing, in case they wonder why you have changed, as this change could make them anxious.)
An exercise to help you work on this is to take three days where the two of you share ways to improve the safety and security of each other in the relationship. In the morning of each day, consider what you can do to help your partner feel more secure about themself and what they say. Then in the afternoon, share a secret which your partner did not previously know about you. Discuss, talk, and communicate about where you have been, where you want to go and how to get there. Having an aim, something to work towards, helps start connections.
Do you know how your partner best likes to receive love?
Do they prefer to be told, to be shown through touch or through physical things, through some other way or a combination of ways? Ask.
Then simply give love.
A head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization.
She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way:
– do they have similar ideals to you;
– do they think of others and work together with them?
– do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it?
Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Love is not as scarce a commodity as it has often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it. We all have it to give.
So turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down. It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
Download the free book now – it’s just a click away – no registration required.
Where ever you are this Valentine’s Day remember that you are loved.
There is always someone who loves you!
Maybe not as and as much as you’d like…
…which is why we wrote out book – so that you can find the love you deserve without making the mistakes we did.
Download it now here and get started on the journey – or reread it if you have already downloaded.
Love – Kris & Guy.
Instead of trying to find someone who will love you, start by making yourself more loving.
Stop worrying what everyone else thinks of you. What do you think of yourself?
Unless you can find warmth, happiness and love in your relationship with yourself you’ll struggle to find these in your relationships with others. If you can’t be nice to yourself, or nice to those around you, how are you going to be nice to someone whom you’re attracted and would like to be nice back to you?
You’re the only one who can control your love energy. Before you enter a relationship you should have your own energy flowing well and balanced.
Start by caring about yourself, or as some people say “love yourself first”.
Don’t be hard on yourself, be soft and gentle towards yourself.
Learn to accept yourself, your own short comings.
Learn how to forgive yourself, again and again and again.
Learn to give to yourself, to let things go, to let your energy flow.
Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or without love. It’s simply not true that you cannot have love without a partner. You can have love even if you are on your own.
Fall in love with the life you have. Enjoy your own company. If you can you won’t feel so lonely.
Most people search for love outside themselves.
For example, some people believe they will be happier “if” they do this or will be perfect if they get that; “if” they become like everyone else (whom they assume are actually happy themselves). This is why some of us believe that getting married will make us happy.
If you are unhappy and single, you could well be unhappy and married!
Marriage is not a solution to personal, psychological or emotional problems. Rather, marriage exacerbates them.
If you are an unhappy single person, you will be an unhappy spouse.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life before marriage, work on making your single self happy first. Then any marriage will have a much better chance of success.
Love is not as scarce a commodity as it is often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it.
We all have it to give.
Turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down.
Remember, it’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
How do you do this?
Take the approach of a head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization. She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way: do they have similar ideals to you; do they think of others and work together with them? Or do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it? Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Tip – Some of the best advice we’ve heard about how to find a potential partner is to seek someone who is similar to you.
What type of partner do you really want, what attributes attract you? Do you have a list of what you’re seeking?
Most people’s lists contain physical attributes they desire, such as physical looks, in a potential partner. That’s fine, if all you want is a physical relationship.
Does your list include any mental attributes; such as wanting a companion who can converse and is caring, warm, loving?
Does it include any spiritual ones? If not, why not?
A better approach is to turn this around and list what you have to offer a potential partner.
What do you think is your best physical attribute? What’s your best emotional attribute, your best mental and spiritual features?
Would a potential partner be able to easily recognise these?
What would a potential partner love most about you right now? Is this what you want to be loved for? Do you want someone with similar attributes? What do you have to give them right now? Do you have love to give?
Or are you giving love to get love?!
Learn more with the free-ebook! Get it now.
What’s your greatest fear – and why? (Some of the best marketing techniques work by playing on your fears, such as you’ll suffer or cannot survive without this product or service. Studies have proven that creating a fear of loss is more effective in marketing than appealing to desire or greed. People care twice as much about avoiding losses as they do about making gains.)
Are you defined by your fears and what you avoid, rather than by love?
Be careful where you focus your energy. Focus it on love.
First start with what is your soul.
Souls are generally described as being eternal, everlasting – and science says there is only thing that is eternal – that is energy!
This suggests that your soul is the way energy flows and interacts within you. This is similar to how your personality and character are now recognised as being comprised of energy patterns within you.
Another way to think of your soul is a little like computer software running on the hardware of your body. If the software programs, or patterns, are corrupted your computer and its output will not function as well as it could.
Just like software, your energy patterns – your soul – can be upgraded and improved. You can change and improve them by adding energy, adding learning and experience.
How your energy meshes is in a large part up to you: you can direct and control how it flows, expands and balances.
If your energies are flowing together harmoniously, expanding and balancing so too will your soul – and love.
The fact that you can consciously alter your energy differentiates you from everything else in the universe. It echoes those scriptures that encourage you to improve your soul to enter a greater realm.
This is one you will definitely want to learn more about in the free book – so download it now.
