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What’s a man to do?

Posted on April 14, 2021

You’ve probably realised that women tend to be different to men when it comes to love (besides from the obvious anatomy) and that most men are not good at understanding women, let alone love.

A good friend who was dating told us he was just going to be himself and if a woman liked him that was “great” and if not “it wasn’t meant to be”. The problem was that it took us years to get to know him, who he really was and how loving and caring a person he is. So how could he expect a potential partner to realize that in a date or two? How could he show that he was strong, yet sensitive – and more?

Here are 10 tips that helped him and can help MEN FIND LOVE.

To change you need to realise that you might have to change a few things; or more accurately expand your way of thinking and what you do.

Author and pick-up guru Neil Strauss proffers to men that they should learn to become, and demonstrate, that they are the most interesting person in a room in order to interest potential partners. A big part of this is showing that they understand intangible things, such as love.

Tip 1 We’re all attracted to and want to be with people who make us feel good. That’s why you like being with your mates, they make you feel good. When it comes to your partner, do you currently make her feel good about herself? Answer truthfully. If not, can you? Of course you can! You’re a big strong man and can do anything.

Your partner most likely wants to feel that she’s the most important person, not just woman, in your life. This means that she would most likely appreciate being told that you care for her, that you love her, that you’re there for her – always. Speak up and say something nice. Don’t think it’s a matter of not saying anything.

Some men have learnt that they can’t seem to say the right words to the women in their life. So they end up saying very little, if anything at all – especially nothing complimentary or deep and never how they feel. Well, this might be the biggest mistake you’re currently making.

It’s an easy one to fix. What you actually need to do is to say lots! Giving loving words, appreciation, is important. It’s how you give energy. You need to tell your partner that you love her, what you love most about her – there has to be something about her that you still like, even if it’s you just saying what you like the most about her physical appearance. Tell her what you find sexy about her. Then move onto those aspects of her personality that you appreciate. What attracted you to her in the first place? It’s probably still there. These words need to be heartfelt. Words without feeling won’t do it.

You can also show appreciation by giving in other ways, such as giving chocolates, flowers or jewellery.

But remember, these are physical things and while they might help a little it’s the intangible things that work best. (Recall how energy doesn’t flow in physical things, it’s stored.

For the other nine tips see the free e-book here

How to handle the pain of love

Posted on November 20, 2018

Emotions – such as pain – are energy in motion (e-motion) and try to compel you to take action. Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now?

When you feel a strong emotion, stop and figure out what it is trying to tell you. Ask yourself questions, such as why you are angry or fearful in the first place, why you were unable to be more ‘loving’. Was it something real or your perception.

Once you recognise what information that emotion, that energy, is trying to communicate to you, you can then do something about it. Energy is neither good nor bad; it’s how energy patterns build upon one another or become chaotic that makes you perceive something as good or bad, pleasurable or painful. Find a way to replace them with healthier emotions, with a better flow of energy.

The laws of science show that things balance-out over the long-term; so if you’ve had a hard time and felt down lately prepare for things to rebound and improve. If your past has been ‘bad’ your future can be good. (Though you might have to learn how to change what you’ve done previously so that things can change in the future.)

While it can be hard to leave behind baggage and heal the hurt we’ve each experienced and have inside, embrace what has been and how it has made you stronger. Then consider what is required for you to ‘move on’.

Remember attachment stops energy flowing and (as Buddha said) attachment creates suffering. Emotions and love need to flow.

The ‘flow’ of love is a key, a major secret to finding it. Learn more, much more. Download the book – free for a limited time.

When?

Posted on December 15, 2017

What’s the optimum number of dates? Or when is the optimum time to settle down?
It’s not age, not even number of partners but rather the amount of knowledge you have about love that’s most important.
If you know and understand what love is, especially why you want love, then you can more quickly assess potential partners. You can more quickly determine – and decline – those whom won’t work out, allowing you more time to spend with those who might. This can also help you avoid staying in relationships that are not right for you.
Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage. You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older. For example, if you choose someone early on without enough comparison you may one day meet someone who has those qualities that you dreamt of, and you’ll resent the partner you’re with. (There are, of course, examples that are the exception to this, such as successful arranged marriages and the like.)
You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner?
Learn more about love – here – these holidays.

Love and pain

Posted on August 29, 2017

One of the best ways to address pain is to determine how your energy is flowing. You can determine this by considering your emotions and what they’re try to tell you.
Emotions are energy in motion (e-motion) and compel you to take action to try to make your energy flow better. They are electromagnetic ‘tags’ that you add to your perceptions, thoughts and memories.
Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now? When you feel a strong emotion, stop and figure out what the increased energy flow (or blockage) is trying to inform you.
Ask yourself questions that will help identify emotions, such as why you were angry or fearful in the first place, why you were unable to be more ‘loving’. What stopped your energy flowing harmoniously? Was it something real or your perception?
Find a way to replace them with healthier emotions, with a better flow of energy (see more in the free book on how to do this – download it easily now).
The laws of science show that things balance-out over the long-term; so if you’ve had a hard time and felt down lately prepare for things to rebound and improve. If your past has been ‘bad’ your future can be good. (Though you might have to learn how to change what you’ve done previously so that things can change in the future.)
While it can be hard to leave behind baggage and heal the hurt we’ve each experienced and have inside, embrace what has been and how it has made you stronger. For example, if you are stuck in the past, stuck on a previous relationship, consider why. What did you get out of it that you don’t have now and need? Then consider what is required for you to ‘move on’.
Rather than be afraid and do nothing, do the opposite – do something. The wheel of life will continue to turn: it is up to you to move and grow with it – or struggle against it (using lots of energy to do so). So use times of change and endings to restart, to try again. There is a saying that “sometimes life gives you a shakeup to help you wake up”.

WHAT'S NEXT?

Posted on February 22, 2017

At some stage in your life you’ll reach a point where what’s most important to you is your own personal growth (not some possession, not work, not even children). Yes, that’s right, you’ll ultimately want validation that your life has been worthwhile and has meaning.
We have found this validation is the basic pivotal point – the crux – that determines whether a relationship will survive, die or flourish into true love.
This is what you are seeking to determine when you are dating and assessing potential partners or evaluating an existing relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow (even if they don’t actively encourage it ) you’ll most likely remain with them. However, if your partner doesn’t help you in your personal growth your relationship may run into trouble. If they blatantly hinder your growth you’ll most likely grow to resent them.
A problem is that many people often we seek others to help them grow. This is why working and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning – and do so better than most other approaches. The only other thing that can validate you more is love – being loved for who you are!
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do, then you have an extraordinary love – a true love. This encouragement of you by your partner is the greatest difference between romantic love and true love. It’s where true love blossoms.

How true are you?

Posted on January 29, 2017

You can be the most wonderful and lovely person, true to yourself, but if you don’t help your partner meet their needs the relationship will struggle.
To make a relationship the best it can be, help your partner meet their needs – from providing safety and security through the different levels to helping them actualize and become who they truly are.
By helping each other be truly yourself you will grow true love!
Accordingly, don’t forget to speak up about your own needs, which ones are most important to you and how they can be fulfilled. Doing this is also a great way to increase that connection between you and your partner.
The truer you are to yourself, to your partner, the truer love can be.