Posts Tagged with love advice

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There’s a beautiful story that tells how a man and a woman randomly pass each other on a street and how they each have an overpowering intuition that the other is the perfect partner for them. As they do a double-take of their emotions, they turn around and look back at each other; and when they see one another looking at the other they each smile. They somehow muster the strength to mouth the word “hello’, then the courage to stop and speak to one another. They end up walking and talking. They get along perfectly. It seems too perfect, too good to be true. Their own self-doubts creep into the conversation. So to make sure they’re supposed to truly be together they decide to part without exchanging contact details and let fate decide if they meet again. They agree that if their paths do cross again that they’ll marry on the spot. Days pass, weeks pass and turn into months and then years as they don’t pass each other. They eventually go out with other people; others who are not their true love, but who provide some sort of romantic love. Many years later they pass each other on the street again. But so much time has gone by and things have changed that they don’t even recognise one another. Their moment, their chance to connect and live a life of true love had passed.

The story, initially by Japanese author Haruki Murakami, has changed a bit in the translation but still highlights how you have to be brave, to trust your intuition, to smile. You have to get out and have the courage to speak to someone whom may be the love of your life. If you don’t, you’ll never know if they were.

If you act and speak up only to find that person isn’t the love of your life you’ve probably still learnt something and better know what you’re looking for in a partner.

You’ll walk by many such people in life, people that you’re not just attracted to physically; people with whom you sense there’s something more. Turn around and smile. Also, make contact with your eyes. Eye contact is very important – the eyes are often referred to as the window into a person’s soul.

Seasons greetings – wishing you much love for 2023

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What a challenging year it has been.
Hope it has been okay for you. What have you learnt?
Surely 2023 will be much better. We hope it will for you!
Remember, you are not alone – there are people out there, people whom will be interested in you – if you make yourself interesting.
Recall how we experienced, researched and wrote our book to help others, to help you. That is why we are giving it away free – so others don’t make the mistakes we did.
A key of what we found is that people want to be with other people who make them feel better about themselves.
Do you do that to others, to your dates, to your partner?
Or is it all about you; do you only focus on you, your needs, talk about yourself?
If so, you need to do some work on yourself, your insecurities.
Learn to find out more about whom you are with, whom you meet. What motivates them, then help them achieve their dreams.
After all, love is a partnership.
Wishing you much love for the new year.
K & G

What’s a man to do?

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You’ve probably realised that women tend to be different to men when it comes to love (besides from the obvious anatomy) and that most men are not good at understanding women, let alone love.

A good friend who was dating told us he was just going to be himself and if a woman liked him that was “great” and if not “it wasn’t meant to be”. The problem was that it took us years to get to know him, who he really was and how loving and caring a person he is. So how could he expect a potential partner to realize that in a date or two? How could he show that he was strong, yet sensitive – and more?

Here are 10 tips that helped him and can help MEN FIND LOVE.

To change you need to realise that you might have to change a few things; or more accurately expand your way of thinking and what you do.

Author and pick-up guru Neil Strauss proffers to men that they should learn to become, and demonstrate, that they are the most interesting person in a room in order to interest potential partners. A big part of this is showing that they understand intangible things, such as love.

Tip 1   We’re all attracted to and want to be with people who make us feel good. That’s why you like being with your mates, they make you feel good. When it comes to your partner, do you currently make her feel good about herself? Answer truthfully. If not, can you? Of course you can! You’re a big strong man and can do anything.

Your partner most likely wants to feel that she’s the most important person, not just woman, in your life. This means that she would most likely appreciate being told that you care for her, that you love her, that you’re there for her – always. Speak up and say something nice. Don’t think it’s a matter of not saying anything.

Some men have learnt that they can’t seem to say the right words to the women in their life. So they end up saying very little, if anything at all – especially nothing complimentary or deep and never how they feel. Well, this might be the biggest mistake you’re currently making.

It’s an easy one to fix. What you actually need to do is to say lots! Giving loving words, appreciation, is important. It’s how you give energy. You need to tell your partner that you love her, what you love most about her – there has to be something about her that you still like, even if it’s you just saying what you like the most about her physical appearance. Tell her what you find sexy about her. Then move onto those aspects of her personality that you appreciate. What attracted you to her in the first place? It’s probably still there. These words need to be heartfelt. Words without feeling won’t do it.

You can also show appreciation by giving in other ways, such as giving chocolates, flowers or jewellery.

But remember, these are physical things and while they might help a little it’s the intangible things that work best. (Recall how energy doesn’t flow in physical things, it’s stored.

For the other nine tips see the free e-book here 

Turning it all around..

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Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage. You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older. For example, if you choose someone early on without enough comparison you may one day meet someone who has those qualities that you dreamt of, and you’ll resent the partner you’re with.

You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner? Learn more about love.

As such, do you know what makes you happy (besides physical things)? Figure that out before using other people to determine it for you.

Tip   What type of partner do you really want, what attributes attract you? Do you have a list of what you’re seeking? Does it include the practical as well as passionate aspects of love?

Most people’s lists contain physical attributes they desire, such as physical looks, in a potential partner. That’s fine, if all you want is a physical relationship. Does your list include any mental attributes; such as wanting a companion who can converse and is caring, warm, loving?
Does it include any spiritual ones? If not, why not?

A better approach is to turn this around and list what you have to offer a potential partner.
What do you think is your best physical attribute? What’s your best emotional attribute, your best mental and spiritual features?
Would a potential partner be able to easily recognise these? Why not?

What would a potential partner love most about you right now? Is this what you want to be loved for? Do you want someone with similar attributes? What do you have to give them right now?
Do you have love to give?

Learn how – download the free e-book here. ENJOY!

What's on your list?

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Do you realise that you have a whole range of emotional needs?
Willard Harley suggests you look for someone who can provide you with:
• Admiration
• Affection
• Conversation
• Domestic support
• Family commitment
• Financial support
• Honesty and openness
• Physical attractiveness
• Sexual fulfilment
• Recreational companionship.
He adds a relationship has a better chance of not only surviving, but thriving, if you and your partner each rank these in the same order of priority.
Meanwhile, author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are 10 virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:
• Kindness
• Optimism
• Courage
• Loyalty
• Tolerance
• Flexibility
• Beauty
• Humour
• Honesty
• Intelligence.
Do you have them in you? Do you see all of them in your partner?
Find out more about them in the free book – can you find it on the site?

WISHING YOU LOVE IN 2019

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Do you ‘need’ love?
If so, it’s not a love that’s expanding, flowing or balanced – it’s not true love.
Rather, you’re trying to fill a gap in the energy within you. Once you realize that, you can fill that gap and move on.
To move on, to turn your love life around, turn around your focus on love.
Don’t focus on getting it, focus on giving it!
A major part of this secret is to realize that progressing from romantic towards true love is not about getting more love, not even doing more things to get love for your self, but about giving love!
The way to do this is to find the love energy that you already have within you and help it flow outwards towards others in the most harmonious way possible. That energy is there within you, somewhere.
Realize there’s more than the physical in front of you, more than the mental and emotional elements inside of you. There’s also the power of love. Tune into it and realize what you are capable of.
If you can give love, then you have something to offer potential partners (or keep an existing partner with you).
You’ll have something that can attract true love to you. For example, one reason most people want love is so that they can feel better. If you can make other people feel better, happier, loved for whom they are, they’ll want to be with you.
What sort of love are you giving now?
Find out many more secrets to true love in the ebook – free to download for a limited time…

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EXTEND YOUR SEARCH FOR LOVE
– WHERE TO START
The ultimate secret, the ultimate truth, of love is that the search for true love starts with you.
It starts with you being true to yourself.
Once you’re true to yourself then you’re truly free to love another.
The pressure is off any other person to fulfil your needs. You have no need to take, only to give, to give love.
It then extends to you helping your partner be true to themselves.

This frees your partner to be who they really are, to meet their own needs and realise their potential.
You don’t just accept them, you encourage them to be themself, you love them for who they are – sometimes in spite of who they are.
If you encourage your partner to be themself they’ll always want to be with you as you’ll make them feel good, help them grow and live.
Do you encourage a potential, or your existing, partner to be themselves, to grow – to love? Or are you more critical in your approach?
If you are the latter it is time for a change! Next time you find yourself judging your partner – or a potential one – by thinking that they are too short, too tall, too this or not enough that – stop yourself!!!
Don’t just evaluate partners on physical attributes. Expand beyond the emotional and mental; beyond questioning will they make a good partner and parent.
It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how well might connect with yours.
True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and more.
So, love with more than your physical body, love with more than your heart, with more than your mind – love with your inner most energy, your spirit, your soul.
If you do, if you love with your soul you will find your soul mate, you will find true love – or it will find you!
Find out more secrets by downloading the free e-book here.

The science of finding true love

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Finding the ‘right’ partner is key to the quality, and even length, of your life. This one decision can determine 90 percent of your happiness – or misery. So it’s important to get it right.
So how do you find the right partner, your soul mate?
Here’s what you’ve been missing, the key we discovered that can help you find your soul mate.
It’s that your soul is related to the way energy flows within you and therefore finding your soul mate is a matter of finding someone with whom your energy best connects!
A soul mate adds to and amplifies your energy – and your energy theirs.
Unfortunately, you cannot easily ‘see’ how your energy could connect when assessing potential partners. It will vary from person to person and only you can sense and determine this.
As soon as you look beyond the physical you will see, be attracted to and meet, a lot more people who could be a good match for you.
There are many people who could be a great energy fit for you.
There are almost 7 billion people on the planet, which means that there are hundreds if not thousands of people with whom your energy could connect well.
This means you are not looking for “the one”, not looking for a needle in a haystack. There are likely to be several potential partners that you can relate with and grow love with!
This also means that you don’t have to compete for the same person as your friends.
To find someone with whom you can experience true love requires real contact and connection. Unfortunately, many of us are more comfortable writing short texts or emails to one another, rather than having a real conversation or contact with another person. But avoiding actual contact by hiding behind a computer isn’t the answer.
You need to get out and meet real people to see with whom your energy meshes best.
Download the free book to find out more….
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Finding true love starts with you

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Instead of trying to find someone who will love you, start by making yourself more loving.
Stop worrying what everyone else thinks of you. What do you think of yourself?
Unless you can find warmth, happiness and love in your relationship with yourself you’ll struggle to find these in your relationships with others. If you can’t be nice to yourself, or nice to those around you, how are you going to be nice to someone whom you’re attracted and would like to be nice back to you?
You’re the only one who can control your love energy. Before you enter a relationship you should have your own energy flowing well and balanced.
Start by caring about yourself, or as some people say “love yourself first”.iStock_000004938973XSmall
Don’t be hard on yourself, be soft and gentle towards yourself.
Learn to accept yourself, your own short comings.
Learn how to forgive yourself, again and again and again.
Learn to give to yourself, to let things go, to let your energy flow.
Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or without love. It’s simply not true that you cannot have love without a partner. You can have love even if you are on your own.
Fall in love with the life you have. Enjoy your own company. If you can you won’t feel so lonely.
Most people search for love outside themselves.
For example, some people believe they will be happier “if” they do this or will be perfect if they get that; “if” they become like everyone else (whom they assume are actually happy themselves). This is why some of us believe that getting married will make us happy.
If you are unhappy and single, you could well be unhappy and married!
Marriage is not a solution to personal, psychological or emotional problems. Rather, marriage exacerbates them.
If you are an unhappy single person, you will be an unhappy spouse.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life before marriage, work on making your single self happy first. Then any marriage will have a much better chance of success.

WHY ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE WHO ARE 'BAD' FOLR YOU?

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Many of us carry around an ideal in our minds of the perfect partner we seek. Sometimes this is a fantasy that’s just a mirror image of ourselves, of all the qualities we lack.
What’s the person you desire like?
Are you generally attracted to people similar to you, those a little different, or those who are the opposite?
We are often subconsciously attracted to someone to improve and balance our relationship with our inner self (balance our own energy).
Consider how if you’re a ‘good’ person, do you really want a ‘bad’ person to ‘balance’ the good in you, in your relationship?
Yet, some people seem to keep dating ‘bad’ boys or girls. If you seek someone opposite to you there can be a big imbalance that can be hard to reconcile.
This is a big issue to be aware of – and to avoid. One of our daughters once told us and some friends that a young boy who asked her out was “too nice” to keep dating. We all gasped in horror given our personal experience encountered in dating ‘bad’ boys and girls and quickly told her that the ‘good’ boys cause less heartache and were the ones that she ultimately wanted for the long-term.
While there are a range of reasons why many of us are attracted to not so nice people, it’s key to realise that love does not change a person. If you aren’t happy with the way your partner is now don’t get married. Never marry potential.
True love is loving someone just the way they are; not wanting to change or ‘fix’ them.
True love is not a spouse renovation project.
Download the free ebook here – there’s lots of free tips to help you find your true love (and keep them!)
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