What's on your list?

Do you realise that you have a whole range of emotional needs?
Willard Harley suggests you look for someone who can provide you with:
• Admiration
• Affection
• Conversation
• Domestic support
• Family commitment
• Financial support
• Honesty and openness
• Physical attractiveness
• Sexual fulfilment
• Recreational companionship.
He adds a relationship has a better chance of not only surviving, but thriving, if you and your partner each rank these in the same order of priority.
Meanwhile, author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are 10 virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:
• Kindness
• Optimism
• Courage
• Loyalty
• Tolerance
• Flexibility
• Beauty
• Humour
• Honesty
• Intelligence.
Do you have them in you? Do you see all of them in your partner?
Find out more about them in the free book – can you find it on the site?

How to keep up with change

As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.

Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.How well do you know your partner? Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake. Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams. Explore, experience and relate again; start again.
Try to connect more. To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust. One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use – see more in the free e-book here.

Our most important blog

SECRET #1
One of the biggest, yet unrecognised, challenges for many people today is how to meet their human need for self esteem.
This need was recognised by Abraham Maslow in his famous pyramid of human needs, needs that we each need fulfilled in our life. It was ranked the fourth highest/second highest need.
And many of us are struggling with it today!
Many people think it is ‘ego’, but that is incorrect.
Others think they can fulfil their need for self-esteem by buying a fancy handbag, shoes, clothes or other branded item to suggest that they have ‘made it’, that they are better than others.
Increasing population, urbanisation and overall competition sends many people along the path that they have to be better than others, that they have to be near the ‘top’ (what ever that means to them) to have self esteem.
Sooner or later they realise that is not enough.
Others serve people, be good, etc to try and feel better about themselves, to achieve positive self esteem.
But true self-esteem is where we/you feel good about yourself.
It is where you know are worthwhile.
Branded goods do not do that.
It can only be achieved by others recognising and reiterating that you are a worthy person.
And the people who care for you are the ones who are most important in this respect.
Accordingly, you need a partner who says such – says that you are a worthy, a great individual.
This is a major aspect of true love. One that makes you feel even more loved.
Does your lover do that?
Do you for your friends, family, loves, partner?
YOU SHOULD!
Find out more secrets about true love -download the book now (it’s free as we want to share the secrets to love that we have found).

Do you communicate clearly?

Sometimes much of what needs to be said is not said and bad feelings are bottled up and start to accumulate for both of you.
Somehow you become convinced that your partner will magically know what to do to fulfil your needs.
Then when your needs are not met, you blame the other person and begin to resent them. This can start a vicious cycle and the silent destruction of a partnership if you are not careful.
For example, have you ever had a friend complain to you about their partner and how they make them unhappy? They should be telling their partner this if they actually want a change. Tell them that.
Consider ‘spouse assassination’, where couples say negative things to each other. While negative comments may initially be said jokingly, they eventually undermine the relationship. A put down does not impress her, it doesn’t add energy; rather it shows you’re (weak and) trying to take her energy.
Instead, say something positive. By doing this you’re adding energy. You’re changing the situation.
If you want a gorgeous loving partner you have to say to your partner that you find them gorgeous and loving – and watch them rise to the occasion.
image-2Men quite often don’t know what to say or do and they withdraw. Rather than risk directing energy into the wrong action for their partner, they simply stop giving it.
Instead, open, in particular open emotionally. Say what you feel (not just think) about what it is that led to being quiet.
If a man can be aware of this he can then be present emotionally and open up to his partner.
When you have difficulty communicating, such as when a man is seeking sex and the woman doesn’t want it for whatever reason, consider agreeing on a word that says the other is not listening.
Don’t hold your feelings and thoughts inside. Try to express them, objectively as possible. Then say what the underlying problem really is.
Demonstrate that you understand what your partner says and how they feel, not assume it. You can only do that by communicating, exchanging words, thoughts and feelings – exchanging energy.
You can never be too thankful and express too much gratitude.
Find more great tips like this in the free book – download it here now!