Got a love problem?

When faced with a matter of love ask:

  • What will this do to my energy – will it add to or detract from it?
  • Will this choice let my energy flow and balance – or stop it?
  • Is what I am thinking, choosing and doing really about my true self – or more about my social conditioning and self-programming?
  • Am I seeking or doing something just to fill a gap in me, in my energy – or will it bring my energy together to flow and balance better?
  • Will it add to my partner? Will it make them feel better about themself, will it help them meet their needs?

Does a person and what they say and do contribute to your energy? Or do they ‘take’ it?
Does your partner add or detract to yours?
In short, do they add value to your life – and do you add value to theirs?
If you do then you have a good love equation, a growing love.

It’s that simple.

How to fall in love – well, sort of

There are just 36 questions that you are supposed to ask someone – questions that can help you fall in love (if you believe some online posts).

What are those questions? – See more here.

The issue is that if your answers don’t much, you don’t have much chance…

…we think you’re better off reading the tips in our own book to find true love.

What do you think?

How to keep up with change

There is so much change in the world today – wrought by the COVID pandemic, tightening supply chains, work pressures, war and more – impacting us and our loves.
How can you better cope with all these changes?
Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect we or our partner won’t.
Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking?
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love.
A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either. 
The woman the man knew when they first started going out is not there now, so much has happened and changed.
Managing change is key to any relationship that comes under new demands and pressure: you have to figure out how to give love to your partner. You need to talk, listen and explore these changes to continue to love through challenging times.
Don’t think that pushing or pressuring your partner will change them. It generally makes them become more entrenched, less open, less safe and less secure, less giving; especially less giving of love.
Pushing someone for their love is similar to trying to take it, to trying to take their energy. If you ‘need’ love, then remember how you’re seeking ‘romantic’ love and that there’s likely a gap within you and your energy flow that only you can fill or move on from.
A better approach is to give love despite what they are or do. (This is what many scriptures suggest.)

How to keep up with change
As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.
Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.

How well do you know your partner?
Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life – as life changes?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake.
Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams.
Explore, experience and relate again; start again. Try to connect more.
To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust.
One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use, such as dinners, date nights, gifts, anything that enables the two of you to spend quality time together where you can communicate.
If you have trouble talking, expressing, research more on ways how to improve this. The internet is a great way to find lots of useful information on this and other ways to connect. (Don’t forget to tell your partner that this is what you’re doing, in case they wonder why you have changed, as this change could make them anxious.)
An exercise to help you work on this is to take three days where the two of you share ways to improve the safety and security of each other in the relationship. In the morning of each day, consider what you can do to help your partner feel more secure about themself and what they say. Then in the afternoon, share a secret which your partner did not previously know about you. Discuss, talk, and communicate about where you have been, where you want to go and how to get there. Having an aim, something to work towards, helps start connections.
Do you know how your partner best likes to receive love?
Do they prefer to be told, to be shown through touch or through physical things, through some other way or a combination of ways? Ask.
Then simply give love.

The power of love

Did you know that love is an energy?
The fact that your energy cannot be destroyed means that it has to flow or be stored. The choice is yours.
When you store energy this can be as fat, a fixation on objects or a mental or emotional attachment to something or someone. This is why personal attachment to objects, events or people can cause suffering, as it stops your energy flowing.
You cannot store the energy of true love: it has to flow, which is why you have to give it, as giving love enables it to flow.
How you do that is up to you.
One of the best ways to get your energy flowing better is by doing what you do in a loving manner. By doing this you get it to flow more harmoniously. Remember, love is the reward for the bringing together, integration and harmonious flow of your energies.
To get your energy to flow harmoniously might mean that you may need to let things go, such as the past, regret and the like. You can either keep your energy flowing around and around the same old circuits or you can direct it to create new ones that might help it flow better.
Letting your energy flow from a place of love, living in a loving manner, is a good way to create new ways for it to flow.
Also, make sure that your energy, and love, is flowing in the right direction. For example, sometimes we get stressed and focus energy on the stress and end up being even more stressed.
Focus your energy Energy goes where attention flows.
Find out more in the free ebook – download it from this site now. 

What's on your list?

Do you realise that you have a whole range of emotional needs?
Willard Harley suggests you look for someone who can provide you with:
• Admiration
• Affection
• Conversation
• Domestic support
• Family commitment
• Financial support
• Honesty and openness
• Physical attractiveness
• Sexual fulfilment
• Recreational companionship.
He adds a relationship has a better chance of not only surviving, but thriving, if you and your partner each rank these in the same order of priority.
Meanwhile, author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are 10 virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:
• Kindness
• Optimism
• Courage
• Loyalty
• Tolerance
• Flexibility
• Beauty
• Humour
• Honesty
• Intelligence.
Do you have them in you? Do you see all of them in your partner?
Find out more about them in the free book – can you find it on the site?

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EXTEND YOUR SEARCH FOR LOVE
– WHERE TO START
The ultimate secret, the ultimate truth, of love is that the search for true love starts with you.
It starts with you being true to yourself.
Once you’re true to yourself then you’re truly free to love another.
The pressure is off any other person to fulfil your needs. You have no need to take, only to give, to give love.
It then extends to you helping your partner be true to themselves.

This frees your partner to be who they really are, to meet their own needs and realise their potential.
You don’t just accept them, you encourage them to be themself, you love them for who they are – sometimes in spite of who they are.
If you encourage your partner to be themself they’ll always want to be with you as you’ll make them feel good, help them grow and live.
Do you encourage a potential, or your existing, partner to be themselves, to grow – to love? Or are you more critical in your approach?
If you are the latter it is time for a change! Next time you find yourself judging your partner – or a potential one – by thinking that they are too short, too tall, too this or not enough that – stop yourself!!!
Don’t just evaluate partners on physical attributes. Expand beyond the emotional and mental; beyond questioning will they make a good partner and parent.
It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how well might connect with yours.
True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and more.
So, love with more than your physical body, love with more than your heart, with more than your mind – love with your inner most energy, your spirit, your soul.
If you do, if you love with your soul you will find your soul mate, you will find true love – or it will find you!
Find out more secrets by downloading the free e-book here.

Get technical

Let’s get technical for a moment. What type of partner do you really want, what attributes attract you? Do you have a list of what you’re seeking? Does it include the practical as well as passionate aspects of love?
Most people’s lists contain physical attributes they desire, such as physical looks, in a potential partner.
That’s fine, if all you want is a physical relationship!  Read that again!
Does your list include any mental attributes; such as wanting a companion who can converse and is caring, warm, loving?
Does it include any spiritual ones? If not, why not?
A better approach is to turn this around and list what you have to offer a potential partner.
What do you think is your best physical attribute? What’s your best emotional attribute, your best mental and spiritual features? Would a potential partner be able to easily recognise these? Why not? What would a potential partner love most about you right now? Is this what you want to be loved for? Do you want someone with similar attributes? What do you have to give them right now?
Do you have love to give?
Or are you giving love to get love?
If so, stop! You can’t force love energy to flow towards you.
If you ‘need’ love, it’s not a love that’s expanding, flowing or balanced – it’s not true love.
Rather, you’re trying to fill a gap in the energy within you or balance your own energy. Once you realise that, you can fill that gap and move on.
Need help – just down load the free e-book and learn lots more practical tips on how!

When?

What’s the optimum number of dates? Or when is the optimum time to settle down?
It’s not age, not even number of partners but rather the amount of knowledge you have about love that’s most important.
If you know and understand what love is, especially why you want love, then you can more quickly assess potential partners. You can more quickly determine – and decline – those whom won’t work out, allowing you more time to spend with those who might. This can also help you avoid staying in relationships that are not right for you.
Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage. You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older. For example, if you choose someone early on without enough comparison you may one day meet someone who has those qualities that you dreamt of, and you’ll resent the partner you’re with. (There are, of course, examples that are the exception to this, such as successful arranged marriages and the like.)
You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner?
Learn more about love – here – these holidays.

Love, love, love

What type do you want?
You already know physical love, as it’s the type you see all around you everyday, on television, in books and in movies.
When you’re young, you’re attracted to physical attributes of people, to looks and bodies and spend a great amount of time and effort trying to explore these.
Also, there’s no denying the power of the physical biology of love: our bodies are designed to reproduce. You were likely taught about this at school and gossiped about it with friends.
Marketers also use this type of love to sell things to you, so you have this type of love pushed to you all the time. You’re led to believe that you must have it or you’re missing out and will suffer. This has also distorted much thinking about love.
Once you experience and somewhat understand the physical aspects of love, you might realise that there’s something more, that there’s a ‘mental’ or social form of love.
Mental love is where you want loving companionship, conversation and friendship as much, if not more, than the physical aspects of love. It’s why and how you seek relationships with friends, family and a special partner.
While physical love fulfils our physical and biological needs, mental love helps alleviate loneliness, makes you feel more connected, safer and secure.
This type of love has a lot to do with how you feel and think. Studies have found that just mentally recalling thoughts of a loved one can create pleasant feelings; that meditating about love can generate more harmonious heart waves (ECGs) than people who are simply resting.
Once you obtain mental love you might sense that there’s still something more. For example, you can be in a relationship, in a marriage with children, and never be physically alone, yet still feel isolated and that something is missing.
What’s missing is spiritual love…