Many of us have been hurt so much when it comes to love that we focus on protecting ourselves from experiencing any further pain.
While this is common sense, it’s important to be aware that when you focus on your pain you’re inadvertently taking the focus off finding love, off your partner and your relationship if you have one.
If this happens regularly it can undermine love, as a partner may see this as you withdrawing love. If they don’t know why they may do the same and withdraw their love. This can in turn lead to you each further withdrawing love from one another and creating a downward spiral where your energy is refocused on pain, then inadvertently adds to it.
Do you recognise when something triggers you or your partner to stop giving love? Have you learnt how to let things go, to let go of the past?
Don’t ever stop giving love without making it clear why!
Step-up, speak up and say why you feel like you do, why you want to withdraw. (Sometimes someone will say or do something that triggers past issues within each of us. Explain that.)
Love energy has to not only flow within you, it also has to expand. One way for it to expand is for it to flow outwards from you, as through giving. Try to keep giving love.
Download the free e-book now to learn more. There are no catches – just love to be given.


You and your partner need to feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure. You also need to feel secure enough so that love can flow freely. We all need a safe and secure relationship, as that’s where you can truly share your self with another.


You’re the only one who can control your love energy. Before you enter a relationship you should have your own energy flowing well and balanced.
Tip   Start by caring about yourself, or as some people say “love yourself first”.
Don’t be hard on yourself, be soft and gentle towards yourself. Learn to accept yourself, your own short comings.
Learn how to forgive yourself, again and again and again.
Learn to give to yourself, to let things go, to let your energy flow.
Being single doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or without love. It’s simply not true that you cannot have love without a partner. You can have love even if you are on your own.
Fall in love with the life you have. Enjoy your own company. If you can you won’t feel so lonely.
Most people search for love outside themselves.
For example, some people believe they will be happier “if” they do this or will be perfect if they get that; “if” they become like everyone else (whom they assume are actually happy themselves). This is why some of us believe that getting married will make us happy.
If you are unhappy and single, you could well be unhappy and married!
Marriage is not a solution to personal, psychological or emotional problems. Rather, marriage exacerbates them. If you are an unhappy single person, you will be an unhappy spouse.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life before marriage, work on making your single self happy first. Then any marriage will have a much better chance of success.
Be different, turn the situation around by finding the love that is already within you. (There must be some love there somewhere; you must have loved someone once.) Take that love and amplify it.
When you can be happy when you’re on your own you’ve learnt a great secret of being happy.

Where do you focus your love?

Energy goes where attention flows. It is the same with love.
If you direct your attention to something, or somewhere or someone else that’s where your energy will flow.
It’s that simple and easy!
If you want true love, want a loving relationship, that’s where you need to focus your attention, and thus your energy.
As such, you should make your relationship, your love – in particular, your partner – the focus of your attention, of your energy, of your life.
This is a secret to changing and improving a relationship, a love. By focusing positive energy on it, on them, you can and will strengthen your love.
In contrast, when you focus your energy on physical things, such as food, fashion or other fads, that’s where your energy will go. When you focus it on mental things, such as courses and studying, then that’s where it and you will concentrate.
If you’re not paying attention to your partner then they’ll not be receiving energy from you, they might even be losing energy. Why would they want to be with someone who weakens their energy?
This is one of the greatest and easiest secrets of love – focusing attention and energy on your partner will improve your love. Try it and watch the results. Which way does your love energy flow?
There’s more in the free e-book. Download it now!

How to improve a relationship

If you have a partner, be brave and ask her why things aren’t good between you.
Then listen – stop and listen.
One way to improve your listening skills – and let’s face it, most men can improve their listening skills – is to listen then say back to her what you think she said; then ask her whether you got it right. Ask for clarification. Ask how she feels or felt. Only when you truly understand the points and issues that concern her can you do something about them.
A woman doesn’t necessarily want someone, you, to do more housework, to do this or that. What she’s probably trying to do is to get you to understand her. As author Marianne Williamson says, a woman will be in emotional bondage as long as she needs to worry that she has to choose between being heard and being loved. Your partner needs both!
Once you have done this, tell her what you yourself feel. You need to open yourself and give some of your inner-most self, your heart, some energy back to her. Create those connections and intimacy by offering it first. This will also help her to feel and know more about you. More importantly, it will help her to start to trust you more. As you open up and reveal yourself she should feel safer and more secure.
One of the best ways to respond and give love energy to your partner is to tell them what you appreciate about them, what attracted you to them and what you adore about her (or him).
You can never say too many positive things, but can certainly not say enough!
Conveying a few kinds words a few times a day – be it in words, email or text – can show your partner that you are thinking about her and appreciate her (rather than take her for granted).
This can be one of the best, and easiest, ways to improve a relationship as it is one to help improve safety and security.
Find more free tips by downloading the book now.

What do you do?

Actions speak louder than words, especially for men. A man will notice what a woman does much more than what she says. He may also notice what she doesn’t do, but rarely will he notice what she doesn’t say.
Ideally, actions and words should match, just as the energy behind them should be focused and flow harmoniously.
If the words, actions and energy don’t match and flow together, question your partner as to why they don’t. Discuss what both of you are going to do about it.
Couples must also be committed to making the partnership their top priority. Make your love and your partner your priority so that’s where you energy flows, rather to less important things.
Do you hold your partner’s hand regularly? If not, why not? Try it. It is a simple but effective form of connection.
Discuss how you might be able to expand to reconnect at these simple levels, levels where you act and demonstrate that you are connected.
Find out more in the free book – get it now here

Testimonial from a reader…

This book is a “Great read everyone (not only if you are single, but for everyone)… The book comes highly recommended!” – a reader G December 2015
Download it now for free, yes free, and find love! (There are no catches, we just don’t want you to make the same mistakes we did. After all, the world needs more love, especially at the moment).
Just click here for the pdf and find dating and love easier –