A head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization.
She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way:
– do they have similar ideals to you;
– do they think of others and work together with them?
– do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it?
Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Love is not as scarce a commodity as it has often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it. We all have it to give.
So turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down. It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
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This article suggests that it may be…click here to view more.
Then download our free e-book to keep your romance alive!
Author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are several virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:
Do you have them in you?
Do you see all of them in your partner?
The biological anthropologist Helen Fisher also suggests that understanding who you are is key to understanding to whom you’re attracted.
For more checklists, read the free-ebook on our site. ENJOY!
As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.
Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.How well do you know your partner? Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake. Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams. Explore, experience and relate again; start again.
Try to connect more. To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust. One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use – see more in the free e-book here.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow – even if they don’t actively encourage it – you’ll most likely remain with them. You might do this even if they exert control over or abuse you.
Whereas if they blatantly hinder or stop your personal growth you’ll most likely seek to escape.
A problem is that we often we seek other people, things and even objects, to help us grow. This is why working and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning – and do so better than most other approaches. The only other thing that validates each of us more, makes life more meaningful, is love.
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do then you have an extraordinary love, a true love.
If your partner is not doing this for you, and this is where many relationships run into trouble, then you may begin to resent them. You may even seek someone whom you feel or think validates you, seemingly makes your life more worthwhile.
Do you seek a partner, or want your current partner if you have one, to do this for you – to accept you, approve you and solve your problems for you? Most of us want this, as it seems the easiest way to address our individual issues and make us feel worthy. See more here.
Another secret is not to give love to get it in return.
Love has to be given unconditionally for it to be true.
The more love you give the more love you should feel.
Unfortunately, many people give ‘love’ in the hope that they will receive it in exchange.
If a potential partner can’t give their love to you without expecting something in return you’ll have trouble finding true love.
How can you expect someone to give to you what you yourself are not willing to give?
It’s that simple!
This give-to-get approach changes the flow of love energy and doesn’t lead to true love, just a dead-end where you can get stuck.
Seek a partner who is not self-focused, not egotistical. Seek someone who is considerate of others, who can share their energy, who can give love.
So how do you give love without wanting to get it back…?
You read the book and learn more 😉