How intimate are you?

You have to create an environment where you and your partner feel safe to provide it, to give it, to receive it.
If you want love, you first have to be able to give it.
(If your problem with your partner is abuse, control or something else destructive – something that stops you from being you – maybe you should move on. Seek professional advice if this is the case.)
What needs to change? Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect our partner won’t. Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking? 
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love. A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either.
Read more in the free ebook – and find your true love – at www.findtruelovebook.com – just a click away (no registration required).

A business-like approach to love

A head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization.
She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way:
– do they have similar ideals to you;
– do they think of others and work together with them?
– do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it?
Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Love is not as scarce a commodity as it has often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it. We all have it to give.
So turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down. It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
Download the free book now – it’s just a click away – no registration required.

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EXTEND YOUR SEARCH FOR LOVE
– WHERE TO START
The ultimate secret, the ultimate truth, of love is that the search for true love starts with you.
It starts with you being true to yourself.
Once you’re true to yourself then you’re truly free to love another.
The pressure is off any other person to fulfil your needs. You have no need to take, only to give, to give love.
It then extends to you helping your partner be true to themselves.

This frees your partner to be who they really are, to meet their own needs and realise their potential.
You don’t just accept them, you encourage them to be themself, you love them for who they are – sometimes in spite of who they are.
If you encourage your partner to be themself they’ll always want to be with you as you’ll make them feel good, help them grow and live.
Do you encourage a potential, or your existing, partner to be themselves, to grow – to love? Or are you more critical in your approach?
If you are the latter it is time for a change! Next time you find yourself judging your partner – or a potential one – by thinking that they are too short, too tall, too this or not enough that – stop yourself!!!
Don’t just evaluate partners on physical attributes. Expand beyond the emotional and mental; beyond questioning will they make a good partner and parent.
It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how well might connect with yours.
True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and more.
So, love with more than your physical body, love with more than your heart, with more than your mind – love with your inner most energy, your spirit, your soul.
If you do, if you love with your soul you will find your soul mate, you will find true love – or it will find you!
Find out more secrets by downloading the free e-book here.

Are you hurting?

A major reason for the pain, the ups and downs, is often related to why you want love and how you go about finding it.
The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested that pain is at one end of a scale with pleasure at the other – and that most of us swing between the two. Most people seek pleasure, seek love, to cover pain. (Researchers at the University of Michigan found some emotional pain is conveyed along the same nerve pathways as physical pain and is one reason why the pain of heartbreak seems as real as an actual injury.)

However, this traps us in romantic love as we ‘need’ it to hide and balance our hurt.
The ancient philosopher was almost right: love is indeed a matter of balance, in particular balancing your energy.
Swings in your emotions (energy in motion) are showing you that your energy is trying to balance but is having trouble.
When you are in pain it’s generally a sign that you need to get your energy flowing, expanding and balancing.
A major cause of problems and pain is that your view of the world doesn’t match reality; that what you’re experiencing doesn’t match what you believe, feel or think. For example, if someone says they love you but their actions suggest otherwise this will create chaos in your thoughts (brain waves or EEGs) and emotions (heart waves or ECGs) and pain can result as you try to reconcile the difference.
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Another cause of emotional pain is uncertainty and fear. It’s easy to get caught in this pattern of reliance on another to make you feel better. But this is a short-term solution.
Another cause of pain is perceptions and responses to what has happened in the past. Be careful that when you enter a new relationship that you don’t bring ‘baggage’, or energy patterns, from previous ones. Even though you might think you’ve left it behind you may have not.
Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now?
This blog is telling you to find more in the book – download it free now – www.findtruelovebook.com
(Some people ask why give away all these tips free? Simple – don’t make the same mistakes we did, learn from ours – we did. And doesn’t the world need a little more love right now!)

Do you communicate clearly?

Sometimes much of what needs to be said is not said and bad feelings are bottled up and start to accumulate for both of you.
Somehow you become convinced that your partner will magically know what to do to fulfil your needs.
Then when your needs are not met, you blame the other person and begin to resent them. This can start a vicious cycle and the silent destruction of a partnership if you are not careful.
For example, have you ever had a friend complain to you about their partner and how they make them unhappy? They should be telling their partner this if they actually want a change. Tell them that.
Consider ‘spouse assassination’, where couples say negative things to each other. While negative comments may initially be said jokingly, they eventually undermine the relationship. A put down does not impress her, it doesn’t add energy; rather it shows you’re (weak and) trying to take her energy.
Instead, say something positive. By doing this you’re adding energy. You’re changing the situation.
If you want a gorgeous loving partner you have to say to your partner that you find them gorgeous and loving – and watch them rise to the occasion.
image-2Men quite often don’t know what to say or do and they withdraw. Rather than risk directing energy into the wrong action for their partner, they simply stop giving it.
Instead, open, in particular open emotionally. Say what you feel (not just think) about what it is that led to being quiet.
If a man can be aware of this he can then be present emotionally and open up to his partner.
When you have difficulty communicating, such as when a man is seeking sex and the woman doesn’t want it for whatever reason, consider agreeing on a word that says the other is not listening.
Don’t hold your feelings and thoughts inside. Try to express them, objectively as possible. Then say what the underlying problem really is.
Demonstrate that you understand what your partner says and how they feel, not assume it. You can only do that by communicating, exchanging words, thoughts and feelings – exchanging energy.
You can never be too thankful and express too much gratitude.
Find more great tips like this in the free book – download it here now!

What's a man to do?

What’s a man to do when it comes to love – lot’s actually.
For instance, don’t be controlling. Some men think strong means control. It doesn’t.
Control kills relationships. Many men try to control what they don’t understand, especially their emotions (as well as their women).
Love is not about control, rather the opposite: love energy needs to flow and expand.
When you take control, you show that you don’t listen. When you ask for sex, you place conditions on your partner, your relationship and your love. You end up with the romantic version of love, where you are attached to things, rather than true love.
If you see there’s an attachment to something, such as shopping, shoes or the like, the energy flow has become attached and conditional. It’s probably because they make your woman feel better about herself.
Many people do and buy things to make themselves feel better. If this seems to be to excess, this is a sign that you’re not doing enough to make your partner feel good about themself.
They’re having to do, buy and acquire other things to do that.
Ask your partner why she needs these physical objects. Ask more, probe further and deeper, as to what you can do to make her feel good about her self? She might not even know. But she should appreciate the fact that you’re trying the let energy flow, expanding it; expanding yourself and your relationship.
Find out more in the free e-book. Get it here now for a limited time.

Connecting – in different ways

A secret of true love is to not look for differences, but rather to create connections.
What do you tend to do? Do you focus on differences between you and others? If you look for and focus on differences that’s what you’ll find. Or do you seek and build connections? Look for things in common then you’ll find them.
How do you connect?
Unfortunately, today’s modern lifestyle sees more of us connect less than ever before. Mobile phones and texts, the internet and emails, sees people communicate indirectly rather than in person.
But it’s through personal connection that you meet people and find out with whom you can connect best. A 2011 survey by Relationships Australia found the majority of people met their partners:

  • through friends,
  • at social occasions, or
  • at work.

Only 4% met their partner online.
It also noted the main challenge to finding a partner is meeting enough new people.
As the adage suggests, it takes a lot of kissing frogs to find a prince. It can be challenging – even painful – meeting, dating and realising that someone is not quite the person you seek and then breaking up with them. Dealing with other people is the hardest thing you will ever do. The first person to climb Mt. Everest, Sir Edmund Hilary, said this was harder for him than climbing the world’s tallest mountain, he once told Guy. But you have to do it to meet people. It is that simple and that hard. Remember the anonymous quote that says “great love and great achievements involve great risk”.
How much of yourself are you prepared to risk? You need to be active, courageous and willing to talk to people. You need to be brave and risk rejection!
You need to get out there, meet and talk to people, connect with people.
When talking to someone ask them about themselves; people generally like to be asked and talk about themselves. Use this to your advantage by asking a question or two to get a conversation going. Then listen. Then try to sense if there is any connection and build on it.

Where do you focus your love?

Energy goes where attention flows. It is the same with love.
If you direct your attention to something, or somewhere or someone else that’s where your energy will flow.
It’s that simple and easy!
If you want true love, want a loving relationship, that’s where you need to focus your attention, and thus your energy.
As such, you should make your relationship, your love – in particular, your partner – the focus of your attention, of your energy, of your life.
This is a secret to changing and improving a relationship, a love. By focusing positive energy on it, on them, you can and will strengthen your love.
In contrast, when you focus your energy on physical things, such as food, fashion or other fads, that’s where your energy will go. When you focus it on mental things, such as courses and studying, then that’s where it and you will concentrate.
If you’re not paying attention to your partner then they’ll not be receiving energy from you, they might even be losing energy. Why would they want to be with someone who weakens their energy?
This is one of the greatest and easiest secrets of love – focusing attention and energy on your partner will improve your love. Try it and watch the results. Which way does your love energy flow?
There’s more in the free e-book. Download it now!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Still looking for the perfect gift for your valentine?
Here’s the best one you can give – the gift of true love.
We’ve opted to provide our research into love as a free gift to you, to all, so that the world can be full of more love. It is full of real and practical help – not just  a few embellished platitudes. Check it out in one click here – https://www.findtruelove.invanuatu.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2011/08/How-to-Find-Your-True-Love.pdf
Happy Valentine to you and yours!
Kris & Guy