Our most important blog

SECRET #1
One of the biggest, yet unrecognised, challenges for many people today is how to meet their human need for self esteem.
This need was recognised by Abraham Maslow in his famous pyramid of human needs, needs that we each need fulfilled in our life. It was ranked the fourth highest/second highest need.
And many of us are struggling with it today!
Many people think it is ‘ego’, but that is incorrect.
Others think they can fulfil their need for self-esteem by buying a fancy handbag, shoes, clothes or other branded item to suggest that they have ‘made it’, that they are better than others.
Increasing population, urbanisation and overall competition sends many people along the path that they have to be better than others, that they have to be near the ‘top’ (what ever that means to them) to have self esteem.
Sooner or later they realise that is not enough.
Others serve people, be good, etc to try and feel better about themselves, to achieve positive self esteem.
But true self-esteem is where we/you feel good about yourself.
It is where you know are worthwhile.
Branded goods do not do that.
It can only be achieved by others recognising and reiterating that you are a worthy person.
And the people who care for you are the ones who are most important in this respect.
Accordingly, you need a partner who says such – says that you are a worthy, a great individual.
This is a major aspect of true love. One that makes you feel even more loved.
Does your lover do that?
Do you for your friends, family, loves, partner?
YOU SHOULD!
Find out more secrets about true love -download the book now (it’s free as we want to share the secrets to love that we have found).

When?

What’s the optimum number of dates? Or when is the optimum time to settle down?
It’s not age, not even number of partners but rather the amount of knowledge you have about love that’s most important.
If you know and understand what love is, especially why you want love, then you can more quickly assess potential partners. You can more quickly determine – and decline – those whom won’t work out, allowing you more time to spend with those who might. This can also help you avoid staying in relationships that are not right for you.
Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage. You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older. For example, if you choose someone early on without enough comparison you may one day meet someone who has those qualities that you dreamt of, and you’ll resent the partner you’re with. (There are, of course, examples that are the exception to this, such as successful arranged marriages and the like.)
You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner?
Learn more about love – here – these holidays.

Love, love, love

What type do you want?
You already know physical love, as it’s the type you see all around you everyday, on television, in books and in movies.
When you’re young, you’re attracted to physical attributes of people, to looks and bodies and spend a great amount of time and effort trying to explore these.
Also, there’s no denying the power of the physical biology of love: our bodies are designed to reproduce. You were likely taught about this at school and gossiped about it with friends.
Marketers also use this type of love to sell things to you, so you have this type of love pushed to you all the time. You’re led to believe that you must have it or you’re missing out and will suffer. This has also distorted much thinking about love.
Once you experience and somewhat understand the physical aspects of love, you might realise that there’s something more, that there’s a ‘mental’ or social form of love.
Mental love is where you want loving companionship, conversation and friendship as much, if not more, than the physical aspects of love. It’s why and how you seek relationships with friends, family and a special partner.
While physical love fulfils our physical and biological needs, mental love helps alleviate loneliness, makes you feel more connected, safer and secure.
This type of love has a lot to do with how you feel and think. Studies have found that just mentally recalling thoughts of a loved one can create pleasant feelings; that meditating about love can generate more harmonious heart waves (ECGs) than people who are simply resting.
Once you obtain mental love you might sense that there’s still something more. For example, you can be in a relationship, in a marriage with children, and never be physically alone, yet still feel isolated and that something is missing.
What’s missing is spiritual love…

Do you communicate clearly?

Sometimes much of what needs to be said is not said and bad feelings are bottled up and start to accumulate for both of you.
Somehow you become convinced that your partner will magically know what to do to fulfil your needs.
Then when your needs are not met, you blame the other person and begin to resent them. This can start a vicious cycle and the silent destruction of a partnership if you are not careful.
For example, have you ever had a friend complain to you about their partner and how they make them unhappy? They should be telling their partner this if they actually want a change. Tell them that.
Consider ‘spouse assassination’, where couples say negative things to each other. While negative comments may initially be said jokingly, they eventually undermine the relationship. A put down does not impress her, it doesn’t add energy; rather it shows you’re (weak and) trying to take her energy.
Instead, say something positive. By doing this you’re adding energy. You’re changing the situation.
If you want a gorgeous loving partner you have to say to your partner that you find them gorgeous and loving – and watch them rise to the occasion.
image-2Men quite often don’t know what to say or do and they withdraw. Rather than risk directing energy into the wrong action for their partner, they simply stop giving it.
Instead, open, in particular open emotionally. Say what you feel (not just think) about what it is that led to being quiet.
If a man can be aware of this he can then be present emotionally and open up to his partner.
When you have difficulty communicating, such as when a man is seeking sex and the woman doesn’t want it for whatever reason, consider agreeing on a word that says the other is not listening.
Don’t hold your feelings and thoughts inside. Try to express them, objectively as possible. Then say what the underlying problem really is.
Demonstrate that you understand what your partner says and how they feel, not assume it. You can only do that by communicating, exchanging words, thoughts and feelings – exchanging energy.
You can never be too thankful and express too much gratitude.
Find more great tips like this in the free book – download it here now!

What's a man to do?

What’s a man to do when it comes to love – lot’s actually.
For instance, don’t be controlling. Some men think strong means control. It doesn’t.
Control kills relationships. Many men try to control what they don’t understand, especially their emotions (as well as their women).
Love is not about control, rather the opposite: love energy needs to flow and expand.
When you take control, you show that you don’t listen. When you ask for sex, you place conditions on your partner, your relationship and your love. You end up with the romantic version of love, where you are attached to things, rather than true love.
If you see there’s an attachment to something, such as shopping, shoes or the like, the energy flow has become attached and conditional. It’s probably because they make your woman feel better about herself.
Many people do and buy things to make themselves feel better. If this seems to be to excess, this is a sign that you’re not doing enough to make your partner feel good about themself.
They’re having to do, buy and acquire other things to do that.
Ask your partner why she needs these physical objects. Ask more, probe further and deeper, as to what you can do to make her feel good about her self? She might not even know. But she should appreciate the fact that you’re trying the let energy flow, expanding it; expanding yourself and your relationship.
Find out more in the free e-book. Get it here now for a limited time.

Dating tip – who’s good for you?

It’s not age, not even number of partners but rather the amount of knowledge you- and your date – have about love that’s most important.
If you know and understand what love is, especially why you want love, then you can more quickly assess potential partners.
You can more quickly determine – and decline – those whom won’t work out, allowing you more time to spend with those who might.
This can also help you avoid staying in relationships that are not right for you.
Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage.
You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older.
You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner?
Download the free book and learn more about love!

GROW YOUR LOVE

Another secret to true love is to add more love energy.
You can add (or subtract) energy to your love. The move constructive energy you add the better.
It’s a matter of finding that right energy, right pattern, right love that adds harmoniously to yours.
This is how caring words, candles, music, gifts and the like add to romance – they add to and amplify energy.
The key is to add lots of other types of energy, in particular non-physical types like mental and spiritual energy.
Adding more energy simply makes what you already have stronger – simple science: add more love energy and you’ll make your love stronger.
This is a little like pushing that swing that’s already in motion, the extra pushes can have a large affect in making the swing, your love, rise even higher.
Take your love to a higher level by focusing extra energy on your partner and your relationship.
This often requires you being less self- or task-focused.
Put aside your own needs and focus on the needs of your partner.
Being romantic is all about adding more energy. Those candles, music, touch, talking, dining are all about adding more loving energy to make the situation – your love – greater. There are many things that can do this.
True love is where your energy adds to that of your partner – and theirs adds to yours.
Find out more in the free e-book – download it for lots more tips.

When it gets tough….

When you don’t know what to do, or when your partner tests your commitment to them, or when you’re emotionally attacked, you probably withdraw your love.
This is a big mistake most of us make!
It’s also an easy one to correct. You need to continue to show that you’re still there for your partner, still love them.
You need to express this in a heartfelt manner, not in a logical/mental or even physical manner. You have to show your strength and sensitivity in an emotional way. This is how you can show that you’re strong and sensitive at the same time.
What do you do when it becomes challenging?
Do you direct your energy to frustration and anger? Or are you strong and continue to let your love flow, adding even more love energy?
The solution is to add more energy, to let it flow and expand to ultimately balance!
This can be as simple as your being there, in particular being there emotionally and emotionally open to your partner (men take note in particular).
This could start with saying that you’ll always be there for her, saying you still love them, to expand your love. (Note you do not need to solve any problem right then and there. That can come later.)
As such, it’s a matter of being and doing the opposite to what you usually do. Put aside your own needs and focus on their needs.

WHY ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE WHO ARE 'BAD' FOLR YOU?

Many of us carry around an ideal in our minds of the perfect partner we seek. Sometimes this is a fantasy that’s just a mirror image of ourselves, of all the qualities we lack.
What’s the person you desire like?
Are you generally attracted to people similar to you, those a little different, or those who are the opposite?
We are often subconsciously attracted to someone to improve and balance our relationship with our inner self (balance our own energy).
Consider how if you’re a ‘good’ person, do you really want a ‘bad’ person to ‘balance’ the good in you, in your relationship?
Yet, some people seem to keep dating ‘bad’ boys or girls. If you seek someone opposite to you there can be a big imbalance that can be hard to reconcile.
This is a big issue to be aware of – and to avoid. One of our daughters once told us and some friends that a young boy who asked her out was “too nice” to keep dating. We all gasped in horror given our personal experience encountered in dating ‘bad’ boys and girls and quickly told her that the ‘good’ boys cause less heartache and were the ones that she ultimately wanted for the long-term.
While there are a range of reasons why many of us are attracted to not so nice people, it’s key to realise that love does not change a person. If you aren’t happy with the way your partner is now don’t get married. Never marry potential.
True love is loving someone just the way they are; not wanting to change or ‘fix’ them.
True love is not a spouse renovation project.
Download the free ebook here – there’s lots of free tips to help you find your true love (and keep them!)