LOVE CAN BE TOUGH

Some days it easy.
Some days it is hard (as life and baggage gets in the way).
A key is to keep loving.
And to keep learning – as in this great free book.
Highly recommended and free to download for a limited time.
ENJOY learning more about love.

WISHING YOU LOVE IN 2019

Do you ‘need’ love?
If so, it’s not a love that’s expanding, flowing or balanced – it’s not true love.
Rather, you’re trying to fill a gap in the energy within you. Once you realize that, you can fill that gap and move on.
To move on, to turn your love life around, turn around your focus on love.
Don’t focus on getting it, focus on giving it!
A major part of this secret is to realize that progressing from romantic towards true love is not about getting more love, not even doing more things to get love for your self, but about giving love!
The way to do this is to find the love energy that you already have within you and help it flow outwards towards others in the most harmonious way possible. That energy is there within you, somewhere.
Realize there’s more than the physical in front of you, more than the mental and emotional elements inside of you. There’s also the power of love. Tune into it and realize what you are capable of.
If you can give love, then you have something to offer potential partners (or keep an existing partner with you).
You’ll have something that can attract true love to you. For example, one reason most people want love is so that they can feel better. If you can make other people feel better, happier, loved for whom they are, they’ll want to be with you.
What sort of love are you giving now?
Find out many more secrets to true love in the ebook – free to download for a limited time…

How to handle the pain of love

Emotions – such as pain – are energy in motion (e-motion) and try to compel you to take action. Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now?
When you feel a strong emotion, stop and figure out what it is trying to tell you. Ask yourself questions, such as why you are angry or fearful in the first place, why you were unable to be more ‘loving’. Was it something real or your perception.
Once you recognise what information that emotion, that energy, is trying to communicate to you, you can then do something about it. Energy is neither good nor bad; it’s how energy patterns build upon one another or become chaotic that makes you perceive something as good or bad, pleasurable or painful. Find a way to replace them with healthier emotions, with a better flow of energy.
The laws of science show that things balance-out over the long-term; so if you’ve had a hard time and felt down lately prepare for things to rebound and improve. If your past has been ‘bad’ your future can be good. (Though you might have to learn how to change what you’ve done previously so that things can change in the future.)
While it can be hard to leave behind baggage and heal the hurt we’ve each experienced and have inside, embrace what has been and how it has made you stronger. Then consider what is required for you to ‘move on’.
Remember attachment stops energy flowing and (as Buddha said) attachment creates suffering. Emotions and love need to flow.
The ‘flow’ of love is a key, a major secret to finding it. Learn more, much more. Download the book – free for a limited time.

Interesting guest article

We try to also bring you interesting findings and research from others.
This study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology entitled “Men and Women are from Earth” rejects the categorical differences between the sexes, arguing that such differences are conditioned behaviour rather than inherent, hardwired attributes.
The research analysed 122 different characteristics in 13,301 individuals: empathy, fear of success, intimacy, relationship interdependence, sexual attitudes, interest in science, masculinity-femininity, mate preferences, etc. It found no consistent correlation between gender and these attributes.
“Sex is not nearly as confining a category as stereotypes and even some academic studies would have us believe,” the study concluded.
It also has some interesting advice on love and dating. See more here in this newspaper article.

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Author and psychologist Gordon Livingstone suggests there are several virtues that we seek in our partners. They include:

  • Kindness
  • Optimism
  • Courage
  • Loyalty
  • Tolerance
  • Flexibility
  • Beauty
  • Humour
  • Honesty

Do you have them in you?
Do you see all of them in your partner?
The biological anthropologist Helen Fisher also suggests that  understanding who you are is key to understanding to whom you’re attracted.
For more checklists, read the free-ebook on our site. ENJOY!

How to keep up with change

As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.

Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.How well do you know your partner? Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake. Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams. Explore, experience and relate again; start again.
Try to connect more. To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust. One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use – see more in the free e-book here.

HOW DOES YOUR LOVE GROW?

If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow – even if they don’t actively encourage it – you’ll most likely remain with them. You might do this even if they exert control over or abuse you.
Whereas if they blatantly hinder or stop your personal growth you’ll most likely seek to escape.
A problem is that we often we seek other people, things and even objects, to help us grow. This is why working and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning – and do so better than most other approaches. The only other thing that validates each of us more, makes life more meaningful, is love.

If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do then you have an extraordinary love, a true love.
If your partner is not doing this for you, and this is where many relationships run into trouble, then you may begin to resent them. You may even seek someone whom you feel or think validates you, seemingly makes your life more worthwhile.
Do you seek a partner, or want your current partner if you have one, to do this for you – to accept you, approve you and solve your problems for you? Most of us want this, as it seems the easiest way to address our individual issues and make us feel worthy. See more here.

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EXTEND YOUR SEARCH FOR LOVE
– WHERE TO START
The ultimate secret, the ultimate truth, of love is that the search for true love starts with you.
It starts with you being true to yourself.
Once you’re true to yourself then you’re truly free to love another.
The pressure is off any other person to fulfil your needs. You have no need to take, only to give, to give love.
It then extends to you helping your partner be true to themselves.

This frees your partner to be who they really are, to meet their own needs and realise their potential.
You don’t just accept them, you encourage them to be themself, you love them for who they are – sometimes in spite of who they are.
If you encourage your partner to be themself they’ll always want to be with you as you’ll make them feel good, help them grow and live.
Do you encourage a potential, or your existing, partner to be themselves, to grow – to love? Or are you more critical in your approach?
If you are the latter it is time for a change! Next time you find yourself judging your partner – or a potential one – by thinking that they are too short, too tall, too this or not enough that – stop yourself!!!
Don’t just evaluate partners on physical attributes. Expand beyond the emotional and mental; beyond questioning will they make a good partner and parent.
It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how well might connect with yours.
True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and more.
So, love with more than your physical body, love with more than your heart, with more than your mind – love with your inner most energy, your spirit, your soul.
If you do, if you love with your soul you will find your soul mate, you will find true love – or it will find you!
Find out more secrets by downloading the free e-book here.

How do you…

Another secret is not to give love to get it in return.
Love has to be given unconditionally for it to be true.
The more love you give the more love you should feel.
Unfortunately, many people give ‘love’ in the hope that they will receive it in exchange.
If a potential partner can’t give their love to you without expecting something in return you’ll have trouble finding true love.
How can you expect someone to give to you what you yourself are not willing to give?
It’s that simple!
This give-to-get approach changes the flow of love energy and doesn’t lead to true love, just a dead-end where you can get stuck.
Seek a partner who is not self-focused, not egotistical. Seek someone who is considerate of others, who can share their energy, who can give love.
So how do you give love without wanting to get it back…?
You read the book and learn more 😉

Get technical

Let’s get technical for a moment. What type of partner do you really want, what attributes attract you? Do you have a list of what you’re seeking? Does it include the practical as well as passionate aspects of love?
Most people’s lists contain physical attributes they desire, such as physical looks, in a potential partner.
That’s fine, if all you want is a physical relationship!  Read that again!
Does your list include any mental attributes; such as wanting a companion who can converse and is caring, warm, loving?
Does it include any spiritual ones? If not, why not?
A better approach is to turn this around and list what you have to offer a potential partner.
What do you think is your best physical attribute? What’s your best emotional attribute, your best mental and spiritual features? Would a potential partner be able to easily recognise these? Why not? What would a potential partner love most about you right now? Is this what you want to be loved for? Do you want someone with similar attributes? What do you have to give them right now?
Do you have love to give?
Or are you giving love to get love?
If so, stop! You can’t force love energy to flow towards you.
If you ‘need’ love, it’s not a love that’s expanding, flowing or balanced – it’s not true love.
Rather, you’re trying to fill a gap in the energy within you or balance your own energy. Once you realise that, you can fill that gap and move on.
Need help – just down load the free e-book and learn lots more practical tips on how!