If you have a partner, be brave and ask her why things aren’t good between you.
Then listen – stop and listen.
One way to improve your listening skills – and let’s face it, most men can improve their listening skills – is to listen then say back to her what you think she said; then ask her whether you got it right. Ask for clarification. Ask how she feels or felt. Only when you truly understand the points and issues that concern her can you do something about them.
A woman doesn’t necessarily want someone, you, to do more housework, to do this or that. What she’s probably trying to do is to get you to understand her. As author Marianne Williamson says, a woman will be in emotional bondage as long as she needs to worry that she has to choose between being heard and being loved. Your partner needs both!
Once you have done this, tell her what you yourself feel. You need to open yourself and give some of your inner-most self, your heart, some energy back to her. Create those connections and intimacy by offering it first. This will also help her to feel and know more about you. More importantly, it will help her to start to trust you more. As you open up and reveal yourself she should feel safer and more secure.
One of the best ways to respond and give love energy to your partner is to tell them what you appreciate about them, what attracted you to them and what you adore about her (or him).
You can never say too many positive things, but can certainly not say enough!
Conveying a few kinds words a few times a day – be it in words, email or text – can show your partner that you are thinking about her and appreciate her (rather than take her for granted).
This can be one of the best, and easiest, ways to improve a relationship as it is one to help improve safety and security.
Find more free tips by downloading the book now.
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Love is…a gift
“Love is … the only truly real and lasting experience of life. It is the opposite of fear, the essence of relationships, the core of creativity, the grace of power, an intricate part of who we are. It is the source of happiness, the energy that connects us and that lives within us. … Ultimately, it is the only thing we can really give.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
We’re giving away our book free online for a limited time – so get it now at www.findtruelovebook.com – after all, love is the best thing we can give the world and this is our gift to you.
Giving love
All the best for 2016 for our friends and readers.
We hope you have a great year.
Remember, this time of year is about giving (not receiving), just like it is about love and relationships.
This can be as easy as giving someone a smile!
Keep that in mind and you will have a most joyous festive season!
PS – if you need to send a last minute gift – send our free e-book – it is the best way to give love! www.findtruelovebook.com
What do you do?
Actions speak louder than words, especially for men. A man will notice what a woman does much more than what she says. He may also notice what she doesn’t do, but rarely will he notice what she doesn’t say.
Ideally, actions and words should match, just as the energy behind them should be focused and flow harmoniously.
If the words, actions and energy don’t match and flow together, question your partner as to why they don’t. Discuss what both of you are going to do about it.
Couples must also be committed to making the partnership their top priority. Make your love and your partner your priority so that’s where you energy flows, rather to less important things.
Do you hold your partner’s hand regularly? If not, why not? Try it. It is a simple but effective form of connection.
Discuss how you might be able to expand to reconnect at these simple levels, levels where you act and demonstrate that you are connected.
Find out more in the free book – get it now here https://www.findtruelove.invanuatu.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2011/08/How-to-Find-Your-True-Love.pdf
Testimonial from a reader…
This book is a “Great read everyone (not only if you are single, but for everyone)… The book comes highly recommended!” – a reader G December 2015
Download it now for free, yes free, and find love! (There are no catches, we just don’t want you to make the same mistakes we did. After all, the world needs more love, especially at the moment).
Just click here for the pdf and find dating and love easier – https://www.findtruelove.invanuatu.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2011/08/How-to-Find-Your-True-Love.pdf
Do you connect on all levels?
Do you connect:
• physically?
• emotionally?
• mentally – can you converse easily with one another? Do you anticipate each other’s needs?
• spiritually – do you have similar attitudes to intangible things, such as personal growth?
The more information you learn and share with each other the better chance of success you’ll have in developing and maintaining true love.
There is really only one reason to get married – you want to do so because of whom the other person is – not whom you imagine them to be…
They make you happy, but most of all they encourage you to be you and support you and your journey in life. They want to be with you for who you are – and sometimes in spite of who you are – and they don’t want to change you into someone else to meet their own needs.
Without this core element, you might not have the blissful life you’ve always dreamt of.
The one ultimate love thing
There is one ultimate thing that you can do to help your love grow – a thing that we have found breaks or makes relationships, that can alter the balance from staying in one to wanting to run away.
At some stage in your life you’ll reach a point where what’s most important to you is your own personal growth, where you want validation that your life has been worthwhile and has meaning.
We have found this validation is the basic pivotal point – the crux – that determines whether a relationship will survive, die or flourish into true love.
This is what you are seeking to determine when you are dating – whether you realise it or not – and assessing potential partners.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow – even if they don’t actively encourage it – you’ll most likely remain with them. Whereas if they blatantly hinder or stop your personal growth you’ll most likely seek to escape.
A problem is that we often we seek other people, things and even objects, to help us grow. This is why work and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning.
The only other thing that validates each of us more, makes life more meaningful, is love.
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do then you have an extraordinary love, a true love.
If your partner is not doing this for you, and this is where many relationships run into trouble, then you may begin to resent them. You may even seek someone else whom you feel or think validates you, seemingly makes your life more worthwhile.
Ultimately, it is you who has to grow, to leave your baggage behind and move forward and make a loving contribution to life and the world around you. (A negative contribution, such as anger and violence do not do this, they only make you have further to journey.)
To learn more, get the free e-book here http://www.findtruelovebook.com/get-more.
There are no catches, we just want you (and the world) to be more loving and not have to make the same painful mistakes we did.
Seeking love ? Turn it around!
To turn your love life around, turn around your focus on love. Try to not focus so much on getting it, but rather on giving it!
The progression from romantic towards true love is not about getting more love, not even doing more things to get love for your self, but about giving love.
The way to do this is to find the love energy that you already have within you and help it flow outwards towards others in the most harmonious way possible.
Realise there’s more than the physical in front of you, more than the mental and emotional elements inside of you.
There’s also the power of love. Tune into it and realise what you are capable of.
If you can give love, then you have something to offer potential partners (or keep an existing partner with you).
You’ll also have something that can attract true love to you. For example, one reason most people want love is so that they can feel better. If you can make other people feel better, happier, loved for who they are, they’ll want to be with you.
As many scriptures say, you reap what you sow.
What sort of love are you giving now?
Learn more by downloading the free book from this site – not strings or catches – we just want you to learn and know more about love so you don’t have to make the same mistakes we did before finding each other – oxoxox
What others say about love…
Much has been said of love: it is the subject of songs, poems, books, movies and more.
Here are some comments from other people that we have found helpful:
• “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams,” Dr. Seuss
• “The power of life is love,” Leo Tolstoy
• “A baby is born with a need to be loved—and never outgrows it,” Frank Clark
• “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread,” Mother Teresa
• “Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that,” Michael Leunig
• “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven,” Karen Sunde
• “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love,” Tom Robbins
• “God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love,” Mother Teresa
• “We are entitled to receive only what we are prepared to give,” Gordon Livingstone
• “It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving,” Mother Teresa
Find more in the free e-book – download it here now!
Do you take care of your partner?
Taking Care of Your Partner’s Needs
There are several key needs we each require to be fulfilled in our life – and in relationships.
If yours doesn’t help you meet these, it will more than likely run into trouble at some stage.
Accordingly, you need to determine if your partner will help you meet these needs. For example, we each obviously need basic physical things such as water, food, money and shelter for simple survival.
However, once you obtain these basic necessities together, you’ll find that you need several other key needs, such as safety and security.
Many of us try to meet these needs by getting married, obtaining a good job to provide money for somewhere to live and a car and a house. But that is not always enough: what you also need to consider is does your partner make you feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure? Ways to determine this are to consider:
• do you want the same things out of life?
• does your partner have similar attitudes, goals and growth plans? (Answer no if they like doing things completely different, or worse still, doing lots of things without you).
• do you respect and believe in each other?
• do you consistently develop win–win solutions to problems?
• does your partner make you feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure?
Again, you want mostly ‘yes’ answers to these questions for any relationship, let alone marriage, to be successful.