So you think you are a good lover? Try this quick quiz!

Did you fall in love because your partner is your ‘other’ half or because they complete you?  These ‘halves’ are often attributes you’ve not developed in your self. So ask yourself:

  • are you loved for who you are?
  • does your partner encourage your personal growth?

The latter is the single main element we have found that breaks or makes relationships; that can alter the balance from staying in one to wanting to run away.
At some stage in your life you’ll reach a point where what’s most important to you is your own personal growth (not some possession, not work, not even children). Yes, that’s right, you’ll ultimately want validation that your life has been worthwhile and has meaning.
We have found this validation is the basic pivotal point – the crux – that determines whether a relationship will survive, die or flourish into true love.
This is what you are seeking to determine when you are dating and assessing potential partners or evaluating an existing relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow (even if they don’t actively encourage it ) you’ll most likely remain with them. However, if your partner doesn’t help you in your personal growth your relationship may run into trouble. If they blatantly hinder your growth you’ll most likely grow to resent them.
A problem is that many people often we seek others to help them grow. This is why working and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning – and do so better than most other approaches. The only other thing that can validate you more is love – being loved for who you are!
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do, then you have an extraordinary love – a true love. This encouragement of you by your partner is the greatest difference between romantic love and true love. It’s where true love blossoms.

The difference between love and true love

A key to finding true love is to expand beyond the basics, beyond the physical.
Expand to the mental, relate and connect on a mental level.
Then take it further and expand into the spiritual.

How do you do that?
For example, rather than try to change your partner, expand into areas where you can reconnect.
Focus on the energy; your energy, your partner’s energy and how it relates and interacts between you. Is it flowing between you, expanding, balancing?
Whatever the case, you can give more love energy, more consideration, more connection, more self worth, more encouragement, more of you.

Be the hero of your own relationship, to not only save it, but to take it to another level.
It’s worth giving it a try. If you succeed you can lift your relationship towards the comfort, warmth and joy of true love.

Here are some tips:
Often we seek things in a relationship that we’re missing from our self. If you ‘need’ someone to ‘complete’ you, to provide you with a ‘better half’, address what you’re missing in your relationship with yourself first
Realise that things change – and that you may also need to change too
Explore, share – yourself – your inner-most self
Continually relate with a partner; seek ways to connect, to understand
Speak up. More importantly listen up
Ensure your words and actions are positive and that they match one another
If how you feel, think, speak and act all match you’ll feel much more content
Take a relationship beyond the physical; expand to the mental, then the divine.

See more on how to do this in the free ebook!
Have you found it on this site yet?

What others say about love…

Much has been said of love: it is the subject of songs, poems, books, movies and more. Here are some comments from other people that we have found helpful:

  • “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams,” Dr. Seuss
  • “The power of life is love,” Leo Tolstoy
  • “A baby is born with a need to be loved—and never outgrows it,” Frank Clark
  • “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread,” Mother Teresa
  • “Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that,” Michael Leunig
  • “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven,” Karen Sunde
  • “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love,” Tom Robbins
  • “God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love,” Mother Teresa
  • “We are entitled to receive only what we are prepared to give,” Gordon Livingstone
  • “It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving,” Mother Teresa
  • “Nothing in life is as complex or rewarding as our intimate relationships. We have all been through some of the deepest pains and greatest joys while connecting closely to another human being. Real love is the highest form of giving. And it is also where we achieve the most inner personal growth. Thus, to fully love another person is perhaps one of the most divine experiences on earth.” Sage & Anthony Robbins

What’s a man to do?

You’ve probably realised that women tend to be different to men when it comes to love (besides from the obvious anatomy) and that most men are not good at understanding women, let alone love.

A good friend who was dating told us he was just going to be himself and if a woman liked him that was “great” and if not “it wasn’t meant to be”. The problem was that it took us years to get to know him, who he really was and how loving and caring a person he is. So how could he expect a potential partner to realize that in a date or two? How could he show that he was strong, yet sensitive – and more?

Here are 10 tips that helped him and can help MEN FIND LOVE.

To change you need to realise that you might have to change a few things; or more accurately expand your way of thinking and what you do.

Author and pick-up guru Neil Strauss proffers to men that they should learn to become, and demonstrate, that they are the most interesting person in a room in order to interest potential partners. A big part of this is showing that they understand intangible things, such as love.

Tip 1   We’re all attracted to and want to be with people who make us feel good. That’s why you like being with your mates, they make you feel good. When it comes to your partner, do you currently make her feel good about herself? Answer truthfully. If not, can you? Of course you can! You’re a big strong man and can do anything.

Your partner most likely wants to feel that she’s the most important person, not just woman, in your life. This means that she would most likely appreciate being told that you care for her, that you love her, that you’re there for her – always. Speak up and say something nice. Don’t think it’s a matter of not saying anything.

Some men have learnt that they can’t seem to say the right words to the women in their life. So they end up saying very little, if anything at all – especially nothing complimentary or deep and never how they feel. Well, this might be the biggest mistake you’re currently making.

It’s an easy one to fix. What you actually need to do is to say lots! Giving loving words, appreciation, is important. It’s how you give energy. You need to tell your partner that you love her, what you love most about her – there has to be something about her that you still like, even if it’s you just saying what you like the most about her physical appearance. Tell her what you find sexy about her. Then move onto those aspects of her personality that you appreciate. What attracted you to her in the first place? It’s probably still there. These words need to be heartfelt. Words without feeling won’t do it.

You can also show appreciation by giving in other ways, such as giving chocolates, flowers or jewellery.

But remember, these are physical things and while they might help a little it’s the intangible things that work best. (Recall how energy doesn’t flow in physical things, it’s stored.

For the other nine tips see the free e-book here 

Keys to a love-filled life

Many secrets and keys to love have been revealed in our book (free online or purchase a hard copy, just google).
They are summarised here:

  • Love is energy
  • There are different types of love
  • We each have unique energy patterns, as individual as fingerprints, that can do unique things
  • Your soul is related to the energy patterns within you
  • You are the one who controls your energy
  • You cannot always control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it
  • Emotions are energy in motion
  • Letting go equates to letting energy flow
  • Energy flows where attention goes
  • To change your circumstances change your energy flow
  • Doing things in a ‘loving’ manner is energetically easier than doing them any other way
  • Happiness and love are the rewards for getting your energies flowing together harmoniously
  • True love starts from within, with your energy
  • Only by letting love energy flow can you find with whom it best meshes
  • To find your soul mate you need to find whom your energy meshes with best
  • Love with your soul not just your body
  • You are drawn to people who make you feel good
  • If you can’t share the innermost essence of you with yourself, how are you ever going to share it with another?
  • One of the biggest secrets of true love is not to wait for love, not to ask for it and not to need it, but rather to simply give it
  • A great lover is always ready to give love and is not bothered whether it is returned or not
  • Love brings out what is hidden within you: if there is nothing loving, then your love will be nothing
  • True love has no conditions, no opposites.
  • You can’t bargain for true love
  • Your relationship to love is often a reflection of your relationship to yourself
  • Strong relationships depend on strong awareness of your self and of others
  • Don’t settle for average. True love is not average: it is extraordinary!
  • Make love with your whole being, your body, your head, your heart – your soul
  • True love is not static: it flows, expands, balances – grows. This means you have to too!

See more here…

How do you know?

Once you’ve found someone how do you really know you’ve found the ‘right’ person?
We’ve found signs include:

  • Wanting to give love unconditionally to your partner
  • Providing a safe and secure environment and supporting them through good and bad times
  • Being able to talk, and listen, together for hours
  • Sharing your inner most self, your hearts
  • Having similar attitudes and aims
  • Encouraging your partner to be themselves and being able to accept who they are
  • Realizing that every aspect of you meshes or ‘clicks; with and adds to that of your partner
  • Together you explore, discover, learn, experience and achieve much more than you could on your own
  • You are separate, but integrated, adding to each other’s energy, life and love; and
  • Your love is better than the songs and movies you used to associate with love.

Learn more, much more about finding your true love in the free ebook – right here!

Love in 2021

Are you ready for love in 2021?
Everything, including love, changes throughout your life.
You’ll progress through different stages and as you do your relationships and love will change too.
There are at least four phases you might progress through. These include:
• Student phase – during which you learn about yourself and the world, where your energy expands from physical to mental
• Family and social phase – where you comprehend meaning from what you’ve learnt, where your energy expands and connects
• Contribution phase – where you apply the information you’ve learnt, where you give energy
• An integration phase – where you integrate yourself, and your energy, with the world around you.
These phases involve a transition from a focus on the physical, to the emotional then to the mind, spirit and finally to love.

Find out more about these stage, along with lots of practical tops on how to find love – all free. Click here. 

SPECIAL BONUS – the meaning of life

To help us get all through COVID, we’re offering a special bonus – giving away our book THE ULTIMATE MEANING OF LIFE.
Even with access to more information than ever before, we still have few answers to life’s big questions. We can find all sorts of information on the Internet, but still can’t find practical answers to life’s big questions of:

  • Who am I?
  • Why was I born?
  • What should I be doing in life?
  • What’s the meaning of my life?
  • Is there life after death?

Despite our differences, these are questions we all ask and have been asking them for thousands of years. Yet there have been few objective answers to these big questions—until now.
Read more here – free for a limited time.

Want to know a secret of love and life

A major secret of life and love is that there are several things you need to fulfil to have a happy and satisfying life. These needs drive most of the things you do.

By recognizing and understanding these needs it becomes easier to fulfil the ones to do with love.

Then, once you fulfil these needs in your self you can then expand to help fulfil them for your partner and you’ll find true love blossoms.

The key is to not rely on your partner to fulfil these needs in you.

What are these intangible needs?

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (Google it if you don’t know) says we each start our life’s journey seeking and meeting physical needs, such as water, food and shelter – and love.

Once you obtain most of these basic necessities you then seek safety and security, the next level up the hierarchy or pyramid. Most of us try to obtain these by getting a good job to provide money for somewhere to live, a house and maybe then start a family.

But these are still physical things and don’t actually provide all the safety and security you need. For example, you can have water, food, shelter and sex; but still don’t feel safe or secure emotionally or mentally.

Accordingly, you and your partner also need to feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure. You also need to feel secure enough so that your energy, or what might be called your spirit and soul, flows freely.

We all need a safe and secure relationship, as that’s where you can truly share your self with another.

How safe and secure are you in your relationship?

Are you secure enough to progress to the next level on Maslow’s pyramid? Unfortunately, many of us venture to the next level without consolidating the previous one. If you don’t have safety and security in place it can be hard to develop the trust and intimacy that’s key for the third level.

This is where most relationships fail! This is because most people focus on the physical aspects of each of these levels, when the path to true love is in fact an energy journey and you need to focus on those aspects of each level.

For example, at the often challenging third level love, belonging and intimacy are key. This is where love expands beyond the physical to be more mental, where you forge connections, where you share your inner most self, or heart, with each other.

Tip   When you’re not getting a basic need (such as sex) from a relationship don’t keep pushing for it. Instead, offer something from further up the pyramid to your partner. Men, pay attention here, if you’re not getting sex it might be because you’re not providing other things that are more important to your partner! (Following chapters provide tips that can help in this respect.)

Maslow’s next level is self-esteem and self worth. How much of a contribution do you feel you are making? How worthy do you feel? How’s your self worth in your relationship?

Does your relationship add to or detract from your self worth? Does your partner value you? Do you provide your partner with enough self worth?

This is another level where many relationships run into trouble, as many people think self-esteem is about being number one and try to take this position.

Some people are not good at this aspect of relationships in that they ‘put down’ their partner. One reason for this is that their own self-esteem is low and the only way they know how to improve it is to take it, to take control.

Both partners need an equal amount of self-worth

Build each other up. You, your partner, should be giving energy (not just physically) to each other. Respect, consider and value your partner so they feel good about themselves. Remember we’re all drawn to people who make us feel good. Make your partner feel good about themself and they’ll feel more self esteem. Make them feel happy and they’ll always want to be with you, to live with you, to love you.

Maslow’s fifth level of self-actualization is where you realise who you are, what you’re capable of becoming and strive to be the true you.

In terms of love, it’s at this level also where you’re loved for who you are. It’s also where you love your partner for, and despite, who they are.

Tip   Don’t just accept your partner for who they are; encourage them to be who they truly are!

This encouragement of self actualization is one of the greatest differences between romantic love and true love. It’s where true love blossoms.

(Learn more tips and secrets in the free ebook).

Finding love during COVID..start here

One moment you’re so in love; then something happens and you’re not; you’re in pain. Why doesn’t love always remain constant? Do relationships have to be up and down? They don’t!
A major reason for the pain, the ups and downs, is often related to why you want love and how you go about finding it. The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested that pain is at one end of a scale with pleasure at the other – and that most of us swing between the two.
Most people seek pleasure, seek love, to cover pain. We ‘need’ it to hide and balance our hurt – our own short-comings.
The ancient philosopher was almost right: love is indeed a matter of balance, in particular balancing your energy. Swings in your emotions are showing you that your energy is trying to balance but is having trouble.
When you have problems and pain it’s generally a sign that you need to get your energy flowing, expanding and balancing.
A major cause of problems and pain is that your view of the world doesn’t match reality; that what you’re experiencing doesn’t match what you believe, feel or think. For example, if someone says they love you but their actions suggest otherwise this will create chaos in your thoughts (brain waves or EEGs) and emotions (heart waves or ECGs) and pain can result as you try to reconcile the difference. Another cause of emotional pain is uncertainty and fear. It’s easy to get caught in this pattern of reliance on another to make you feel better. But this is a short-term solution.
You cannot continually rely on someone else to provide love, to make you happy. Learn to love who you are. And if you don’t, transform whom you are to someone you can be proud of. And remember, arrogance is not self-love. After-all, we all want to be with people who make us feel better. Find out more with the free book and loads of tips here…