How can you tell?

Ask yourself simple questions to determine how you feel – what your emotions, your energy in motion, are trying to tell you?
They can provide the answer for you.
When faced with a matter of love ask:

  • What does this person do to my energy – do they add to or detract from it?
  • Will it add to the energy of a partner? Will it make them feel better about themself, will it help them meet their human needs?
  • What would love do – without expectation of anything in return?

Does a person and what they say and do contribute to your energy? Or do they ‘take’ it?
Does your partner add or detract to yours?

In short, do they add value to your life – and do you add value to theirs?
If you do then you have a good love equation, a growing love.
It’s that simple.

How someone else’s energy adds to, or subtracts, from yours makes a big difference to you, to your life, to your love.
You are seeking a relationship where your energy and that of your partner join together to create something better than if you were on your own.

If you’re in relationship and continuously feel worse off than you think you’d be if you were on your own then you have to question whether you should be in the relationship. When the negatives outnumber the positives maybe the love equation is showing you it’s not the right relationship for you.
True love is when you feel, and are, better with your partner than on your own.

Got a love problem?

When faced with a matter of love ask:

  • What will this do to my energy – will it add to or detract from it?
  • Will this choice let my energy flow and balance – or stop it?
  • Is what I am thinking, choosing and doing really about my true self – or more about my social conditioning and self-programming?
  • Am I seeking or doing something just to fill a gap in me, in my energy – or will it bring my energy together to flow and balance better?
  • Will it add to my partner? Will it make them feel better about themself, will it help them meet their needs?

Does a person and what they say and do contribute to your energy? Or do they ‘take’ it?
Does your partner add or detract to yours?
In short, do they add value to your life – and do you add value to theirs?
If you do then you have a good love equation, a growing love.

It’s that simple.

How to fall in love – well, sort of

There are just 36 questions that you are supposed to ask someone – questions that can help you fall in love (if you believe some online posts).

What are those questions? – See more here.

The issue is that if your answers don’t much, you don’t have much chance…

…we think you’re better off reading the tips in our own book to find true love.

What do you think?

How to keep up with change

There is so much change in the world today – wrought by the COVID pandemic, tightening supply chains, work pressures, war and more – impacting us and our loves.
How can you better cope with all these changes?
Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect we or our partner won’t.
Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking?
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love.
A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either. 
The woman the man knew when they first started going out is not there now, so much has happened and changed.
Managing change is key to any relationship that comes under new demands and pressure: you have to figure out how to give love to your partner. You need to talk, listen and explore these changes to continue to love through challenging times.
Don’t think that pushing or pressuring your partner will change them. It generally makes them become more entrenched, less open, less safe and less secure, less giving; especially less giving of love.
Pushing someone for their love is similar to trying to take it, to trying to take their energy. If you ‘need’ love, then remember how you’re seeking ‘romantic’ love and that there’s likely a gap within you and your energy flow that only you can fill or move on from.
A better approach is to give love despite what they are or do. (This is what many scriptures suggest.)

How to keep up with change
As life changes you need to find ways to not necessarily change, but rather expand and grow love. We often say to each other not to think of it as a need to change, but rather expand.
The only way you can do that is by connecting, continually connecting, deeper and deeper. You can only take your existing love towards true love by sharing your true self with your partner.
To do this, you need to feel and know who you are, know that you’re safe and secure with your partner, to be able to share yourself with them without fearing that they’ll use what you share against you, won’t hurt you.
Only then can you both share your greatest fears, your greatest desires – your selves.

How well do you know your partner?
Do you know and understand their fears, what they seek from life – as life changes?
Often we don’t really know how our partner really feels. You assume you know, which is a big mistake.
Ask them how they feel, truly feel.
As such, you shouldn’t just want to know your partner’s favourite colour, number or song; you should seek to know their greatest fears. Then help them overcome their fears and realise their dreams.
Explore, experience and relate again; start again. Try to connect more.
To do so you will require improving safety and security, improving trust.
One way to do this is for you to start to share your inner-most essence; show how you are. What motivates, as well as concerns, you.
Sharing secrets is considered one way to create intimacy and connections. One study found that when strangers were asked to reveal intimate details about their lives to one another and then made to stare into each other’s eyes that many of them reported feelings of strong attraction to each other.
There are a range of other techniques you can use, such as dinners, date nights, gifts, anything that enables the two of you to spend quality time together where you can communicate.
If you have trouble talking, expressing, research more on ways how to improve this. The internet is a great way to find lots of useful information on this and other ways to connect. (Don’t forget to tell your partner that this is what you’re doing, in case they wonder why you have changed, as this change could make them anxious.)
An exercise to help you work on this is to take three days where the two of you share ways to improve the safety and security of each other in the relationship. In the morning of each day, consider what you can do to help your partner feel more secure about themself and what they say. Then in the afternoon, share a secret which your partner did not previously know about you. Discuss, talk, and communicate about where you have been, where you want to go and how to get there. Having an aim, something to work towards, helps start connections.
Do you know how your partner best likes to receive love?
Do they prefer to be told, to be shown through touch or through physical things, through some other way or a combination of ways? Ask.
Then simply give love.

So you think you are a good lover? Try this quick quiz

True love is loving someone just the way they are and supporting them to become the best person they can – not wanting to change or fix them.
While opposites sometimes attract, it‘s often safer to seek someone who is similar to you and who wants similar things out of the marriage and life as you do.
How similar are you to your potential partner? Take this test: write down how similar you think you are, and then ask your partner to do the same, with respect to:

  1. Emotion
  2. Intellect
  3. Spirituality
  4. Kindness
  5. Communication
  6. Consideration
  7. Enthusiasm
  8. Socialness
  9. Passion
  10. Proactiveness
  11. Ambition
  12. Sense of humour
  13. Conflict resolution
  14. Adaptability
  15. Need to be organised / control

Use a 10 point scale, with 1 being ‘not at all similar’ to 10 being ‘very similar’.
This will require you knowing and understanding how your partner thinks about these things. If you are uncertain ask your partner what they feel and think.
If you are far apart on more than half of these, you will most likely run into problems – sooner or later. As mentioned earlier, sharing a similar attitude to love, and life, is key to a lasting and loving relationship.
Learn more in this most helpful book – available free online for a limited time.
Download it here

So you think you are a good lover? Try this quick quiz!

Did you fall in love because your partner is your ‘other’ half or because they complete you?  These ‘halves’ are often attributes you’ve not developed in your self. So ask yourself:

  • are you loved for who you are?
  • does your partner encourage your personal growth?

The latter is the single main element we have found that breaks or makes relationships; that can alter the balance from staying in one to wanting to run away.
At some stage in your life you’ll reach a point where what’s most important to you is your own personal growth (not some possession, not work, not even children). Yes, that’s right, you’ll ultimately want validation that your life has been worthwhile and has meaning.
We have found this validation is the basic pivotal point – the crux – that determines whether a relationship will survive, die or flourish into true love.
This is what you are seeking to determine when you are dating and assessing potential partners or evaluating an existing relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow (even if they don’t actively encourage it ) you’ll most likely remain with them. However, if your partner doesn’t help you in your personal growth your relationship may run into trouble. If they blatantly hinder your growth you’ll most likely grow to resent them.
A problem is that many people often we seek others to help them grow. This is why working and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning – and do so better than most other approaches. The only other thing that can validate you more is love – being loved for who you are!
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do, then you have an extraordinary love – a true love. This encouragement of you by your partner is the greatest difference between romantic love and true love. It’s where true love blossoms.

The difference between love and true love

A key to finding true love is to expand beyond the basics, beyond the physical.
Expand to the mental, relate and connect on a mental level.
Then take it further and expand into the spiritual.

How do you do that?
For example, rather than try to change your partner, expand into areas where you can reconnect.
Focus on the energy; your energy, your partner’s energy and how it relates and interacts between you. Is it flowing between you, expanding, balancing?
Whatever the case, you can give more love energy, more consideration, more connection, more self worth, more encouragement, more of you.

Be the hero of your own relationship, to not only save it, but to take it to another level.
It’s worth giving it a try. If you succeed you can lift your relationship towards the comfort, warmth and joy of true love.

Here are some tips:
Often we seek things in a relationship that we’re missing from our self. If you ‘need’ someone to ‘complete’ you, to provide you with a ‘better half’, address what you’re missing in your relationship with yourself first
Realise that things change – and that you may also need to change too
Explore, share – yourself – your inner-most self
Continually relate with a partner; seek ways to connect, to understand
Speak up. More importantly listen up
Ensure your words and actions are positive and that they match one another
If how you feel, think, speak and act all match you’ll feel much more content
Take a relationship beyond the physical; expand to the mental, then the divine.

See more on how to do this in the free ebook!
Have you found it on this site yet?

What others say about love…

Much has been said of love: it is the subject of songs, poems, books, movies and more. Here are some comments from other people that we have found helpful:

  • “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams,” Dr. Seuss
  • “The power of life is love,” Leo Tolstoy
  • “A baby is born with a need to be loved—and never outgrows it,” Frank Clark
  • “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread,” Mother Teresa
  • “Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that,” Michael Leunig
  • “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven,” Karen Sunde
  • “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love,” Tom Robbins
  • “God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love,” Mother Teresa
  • “We are entitled to receive only what we are prepared to give,” Gordon Livingstone
  • “It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving,” Mother Teresa
  • “Nothing in life is as complex or rewarding as our intimate relationships. We have all been through some of the deepest pains and greatest joys while connecting closely to another human being. Real love is the highest form of giving. And it is also where we achieve the most inner personal growth. Thus, to fully love another person is perhaps one of the most divine experiences on earth.” Sage & Anthony Robbins

What’s a man to do?

You’ve probably realised that women tend to be different to men when it comes to love (besides from the obvious anatomy) and that most men are not good at understanding women, let alone love.

A good friend who was dating told us he was just going to be himself and if a woman liked him that was “great” and if not “it wasn’t meant to be”. The problem was that it took us years to get to know him, who he really was and how loving and caring a person he is. So how could he expect a potential partner to realize that in a date or two? How could he show that he was strong, yet sensitive – and more?

Here are 10 tips that helped him and can help MEN FIND LOVE.

To change you need to realise that you might have to change a few things; or more accurately expand your way of thinking and what you do.

Author and pick-up guru Neil Strauss proffers to men that they should learn to become, and demonstrate, that they are the most interesting person in a room in order to interest potential partners. A big part of this is showing that they understand intangible things, such as love.

Tip 1   We’re all attracted to and want to be with people who make us feel good. That’s why you like being with your mates, they make you feel good. When it comes to your partner, do you currently make her feel good about herself? Answer truthfully. If not, can you? Of course you can! You’re a big strong man and can do anything.

Your partner most likely wants to feel that she’s the most important person, not just woman, in your life. This means that she would most likely appreciate being told that you care for her, that you love her, that you’re there for her – always. Speak up and say something nice. Don’t think it’s a matter of not saying anything.

Some men have learnt that they can’t seem to say the right words to the women in their life. So they end up saying very little, if anything at all – especially nothing complimentary or deep and never how they feel. Well, this might be the biggest mistake you’re currently making.

It’s an easy one to fix. What you actually need to do is to say lots! Giving loving words, appreciation, is important. It’s how you give energy. You need to tell your partner that you love her, what you love most about her – there has to be something about her that you still like, even if it’s you just saying what you like the most about her physical appearance. Tell her what you find sexy about her. Then move onto those aspects of her personality that you appreciate. What attracted you to her in the first place? It’s probably still there. These words need to be heartfelt. Words without feeling won’t do it.

You can also show appreciation by giving in other ways, such as giving chocolates, flowers or jewellery.

But remember, these are physical things and while they might help a little it’s the intangible things that work best. (Recall how energy doesn’t flow in physical things, it’s stored.

For the other nine tips see the free e-book here 

Keys to a love-filled life

Many secrets and keys to love have been revealed in our book (free online or purchase a hard copy, just google).
They are summarised here:

  • Love is energy
  • There are different types of love
  • We each have unique energy patterns, as individual as fingerprints, that can do unique things
  • Your soul is related to the energy patterns within you
  • You are the one who controls your energy
  • You cannot always control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it
  • Emotions are energy in motion
  • Letting go equates to letting energy flow
  • Energy flows where attention goes
  • To change your circumstances change your energy flow
  • Doing things in a ‘loving’ manner is energetically easier than doing them any other way
  • Happiness and love are the rewards for getting your energies flowing together harmoniously
  • True love starts from within, with your energy
  • Only by letting love energy flow can you find with whom it best meshes
  • To find your soul mate you need to find whom your energy meshes with best
  • Love with your soul not just your body
  • You are drawn to people who make you feel good
  • If you can’t share the innermost essence of you with yourself, how are you ever going to share it with another?
  • One of the biggest secrets of true love is not to wait for love, not to ask for it and not to need it, but rather to simply give it
  • A great lover is always ready to give love and is not bothered whether it is returned or not
  • Love brings out what is hidden within you: if there is nothing loving, then your love will be nothing
  • True love has no conditions, no opposites.
  • You can’t bargain for true love
  • Your relationship to love is often a reflection of your relationship to yourself
  • Strong relationships depend on strong awareness of your self and of others
  • Don’t settle for average. True love is not average: it is extraordinary!
  • Make love with your whole being, your body, your head, your heart – your soul
  • True love is not static: it flows, expands, balances – grows. This means you have to too!

See more here…