Want to know a secret of love and life

A major secret of life and love is that there are several things you need to fulfil to have a happy and satisfying life. These needs drive most of the things you do.

By recognizing and understanding these needs it becomes easier to fulfil the ones to do with love.

Then, once you fulfil these needs in your self you can then expand to help fulfil them for your partner and you’ll find true love blossoms.

The key is to not rely on your partner to fulfil these needs in you.

What are these intangible needs?

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (Google it if you don’t know) says we each start our life’s journey seeking and meeting physical needs, such as water, food and shelter – and love.

Once you obtain most of these basic necessities you then seek safety and security, the next level up the hierarchy or pyramid. Most of us try to obtain these by getting a good job to provide money for somewhere to live, a house and maybe then start a family.

But these are still physical things and don’t actually provide all the safety and security you need. For example, you can have water, food, shelter and sex; but still don’t feel safe or secure emotionally or mentally.

Accordingly, you and your partner also need to feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure. You also need to feel secure enough so that your energy, or what might be called your spirit and soul, flows freely.

We all need a safe and secure relationship, as that’s where you can truly share your self with another.

How safe and secure are you in your relationship?

Are you secure enough to progress to the next level on Maslow’s pyramid? Unfortunately, many of us venture to the next level without consolidating the previous one. If you don’t have safety and security in place it can be hard to develop the trust and intimacy that’s key for the third level.

This is where most relationships fail! This is because most people focus on the physical aspects of each of these levels, when the path to true love is in fact an energy journey and you need to focus on those aspects of each level.

For example, at the often challenging third level love, belonging and intimacy are key. This is where love expands beyond the physical to be more mental, where you forge connections, where you share your inner most self, or heart, with each other.

Tip   When you’re not getting a basic need (such as sex) from a relationship don’t keep pushing for it. Instead, offer something from further up the pyramid to your partner. Men, pay attention here, if you’re not getting sex it might be because you’re not providing other things that are more important to your partner! (Following chapters provide tips that can help in this respect.)

Maslow’s next level is self-esteem and self worth. How much of a contribution do you feel you are making? How worthy do you feel? How’s your self worth in your relationship?

Does your relationship add to or detract from your self worth? Does your partner value you? Do you provide your partner with enough self worth?

This is another level where many relationships run into trouble, as many people think self-esteem is about being number one and try to take this position.

Some people are not good at this aspect of relationships in that they ‘put down’ their partner. One reason for this is that their own self-esteem is low and the only way they know how to improve it is to take it, to take control.

Both partners need an equal amount of self-worth

Build each other up. You, your partner, should be giving energy (not just physically) to each other. Respect, consider and value your partner so they feel good about themselves. Remember we’re all drawn to people who make us feel good. Make your partner feel good about themself and they’ll feel more self esteem. Make them feel happy and they’ll always want to be with you, to live with you, to love you.

Maslow’s fifth level of self-actualization is where you realise who you are, what you’re capable of becoming and strive to be the true you.

In terms of love, it’s at this level also where you’re loved for who you are. It’s also where you love your partner for, and despite, who they are.

Tip   Don’t just accept your partner for who they are; encourage them to be who they truly are!

This encouragement of self actualization is one of the greatest differences between romantic love and true love. It’s where true love blossoms.

(Learn more tips and secrets in the free ebook).

Finding love during COVID..start here

One moment you’re so in love; then something happens and you’re not; you’re in pain. Why doesn’t love always remain constant? Do relationships have to be up and down? They don’t!
A major reason for the pain, the ups and downs, is often related to why you want love and how you go about finding it. The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested that pain is at one end of a scale with pleasure at the other – and that most of us swing between the two.
Most people seek pleasure, seek love, to cover pain. We ‘need’ it to hide and balance our hurt – our own short-comings.
The ancient philosopher was almost right: love is indeed a matter of balance, in particular balancing your energy. Swings in your emotions are showing you that your energy is trying to balance but is having trouble.
When you have problems and pain it’s generally a sign that you need to get your energy flowing, expanding and balancing.
A major cause of problems and pain is that your view of the world doesn’t match reality; that what you’re experiencing doesn’t match what you believe, feel or think. For example, if someone says they love you but their actions suggest otherwise this will create chaos in your thoughts (brain waves or EEGs) and emotions (heart waves or ECGs) and pain can result as you try to reconcile the difference. Another cause of emotional pain is uncertainty and fear. It’s easy to get caught in this pattern of reliance on another to make you feel better. But this is a short-term solution.
You cannot continually rely on someone else to provide love, to make you happy. Learn to love who you are. And if you don’t, transform whom you are to someone you can be proud of. And remember, arrogance is not self-love. After-all, we all want to be with people who make us feel better. Find out more with the free book and loads of tips here…

Turning it all around..

Knowing about love provides a competitive advantage. You are less likely to choose the ‘wrong’ person and have to try again, or remarry, when you’re older. For example, if you choose someone early on without enough comparison you may one day meet someone who has those qualities that you dreamt of, and you’ll resent the partner you’re with.

You’d research, learn, inspect and do tests before you bought an expensive car or house – so why wouldn’t you do the same before choosing a life partner? Learn more about love.

As such, do you know what makes you happy (besides physical things)? Figure that out before using other people to determine it for you.

Tip   What type of partner do you really want, what attributes attract you? Do you have a list of what you’re seeking? Does it include the practical as well as passionate aspects of love?

Most people’s lists contain physical attributes they desire, such as physical looks, in a potential partner. That’s fine, if all you want is a physical relationship. Does your list include any mental attributes; such as wanting a companion who can converse and is caring, warm, loving?
Does it include any spiritual ones? If not, why not?

A better approach is to turn this around and list what you have to offer a potential partner.
What do you think is your best physical attribute? What’s your best emotional attribute, your best mental and spiritual features?
Would a potential partner be able to easily recognise these? Why not?

What would a potential partner love most about you right now? Is this what you want to be loved for? Do you want someone with similar attributes? What do you have to give them right now?
Do you have love to give?

Learn how – download the free e-book here. ENJOY!

Love in troubled times

Realise there’s more than the physical in front of you, more than the mental and emotional elements inside of you.
There’s also the ‘digital’ power of love.

If you can give love, then you have something to offer potential partners (or keep an existing partner with you).

You’ll have something that can attract true love to you. For example, one reason most people want love is so that they can feel better.

If you can make other people feel better, happier, loved for who they are, they’ll want to be with you.

Download the ebook now – for free – to read while you are isolating.

Lock-down free read

Looking for something to read while in lock-down?
Make it something that will help you when you get out!
Free for a limited time – How to Find Your True Love is FREE
Click here to download now and free your heart!

Some helpful tips from other experts

This article from our local paper provides some very helpful tips.
While it is titled “The only thing you need to know to know to turn a woman on, every time” it contains some very helpful information and latest scientific research.
See here for more…

SPECIAL offer

As a bonus to our followers, please find a link to a complimentary copy of our other book – The Ultimate Meaning of Life.
Hope it helps you as it has helped many others.
Click here to download.

How intimate are you?

You have to create an environment where you and your partner feel safe to provide it, to give it, to receive it.
If you want love, you first have to be able to give it.
(If your problem with your partner is abuse, control or something else destructive – something that stops you from being you – maybe you should move on. Seek professional advice if this is the case.)
What needs to change? Change occurs all through life, yet we often expect our partner won’t. Then when things get tough, ironically, we want them to change.
When it comes to the latter, why do you or your partner want change? Why are you seeking something else? What are you really seeking? 
Is it because you feel the relationship is stale, that it’s not going anywhere, you think you know all there is to know about your partner, or you want more excitement, or you’re not getting what you need?
If it’s any of these, then there’s a good chance you could grow your relationship more – a lot more. You already have a partner with whom you’ve had much in common and it might just be possible to improve what you already have.
Couples often take each other for granted and that can destroy love. A woman thinks she knows her man, the man thinks he knows his woman; while in reality nobody knows either.
Read more in the free ebook – and find your true love – at www.findtruelovebook.com – just a click away (no registration required).

A business-like approach to love

A head-hunter friend of ours, who teaches big companies that when they’re recruiting people they should hire those who best fit their culture, who embody the ideals of the organization.
She coaches them on how to employ people who are prepared to work together with others to achieve a common objective. They might not have the same personality type, not even the same views, but they are able to band with others and work together.
Look at potential partners in this way:
– do they have similar ideals to you;
– do they think of others and work together with them?
– do they take control and direct or do everything on their own?
Ask them what their views are on love, on true love, and how they’ve gone about finding it?
Do they have the same ideals and approach as you?
Love is not as scarce a commodity as it has often been made out to be. There’s plenty of love energy to go around. We all want it. We all have it to give.
So turn the traditional approach to finding love around and start by looking ‘top’ down. It’s the person inside, their soul, that you’re trying to determine how they might connect with yours. True love is where you connect with another on all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually (in terms of energy rather than religion).
Download the free book now – it’s just a click away – no registration required.