If you have a partner, be brave and ask her why things aren’t good between you.
Then listen – stop and listen.
One way to improve your listening skills – and let’s face it, most men can improve their listening skills – is to listen then say back to her what you think she said; then ask her whether you got it right. Ask for clarification. Ask how she feels or felt. Only when you truly understand the points and issues that concern her can you do something about them.
A woman doesn’t necessarily want someone, you, to do more housework, to do this or that. What she’s probably trying to do is to get you to understand her. As author Marianne Williamson says, a woman will be in emotional bondage as long as she needs to worry that she has to choose between being heard and being loved. Your partner needs both!
Once you have done this, tell her what you yourself feel. You need to open yourself and give some of your inner-most self, your heart, some energy back to her. Create those connections and intimacy by offering it first. This will also help her to feel and know more about you. More importantly, it will help her to start to trust you more. As you open up and reveal yourself she should feel safer and more secure.
One of the best ways to respond and give love energy to your partner is to tell them what you appreciate about them, what attracted you to them and what you adore about her (or him).
You can never say too many positive things, but can certainly not say enough!
Conveying a few kinds words a few times a day – be it in words, email or text – can show your partner that you are thinking about her and appreciate her (rather than take her for granted).
This can be one of the best, and easiest, ways to improve a relationship as it is one to help improve safety and security.
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