The one ultimate love thing

There is one ultimate thing that you can do to help your love grow – a thing that we have found breaks or makes relationships, that can alter the balance from staying in one to wanting to run away.
At some stage in your life you’ll reach a point where what’s most important to you is your own personal growth, where you want validation that your life has been worthwhile and has meaning.
We have found this validation is the basic pivotal point – the crux – that determines whether a relationship will survive, die or flourish into true love.
This is what you are seeking to determine when you are dating – whether you realise it or not – and assessing potential partners.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner lets you grow – even if they don’t actively encourage it – you’ll most likely remain with them. Whereas if they blatantly hinder or stop your personal growth you’ll most likely seek to escape.
A problem is that we often we seek other people, things and even objects, to help us grow. This is why work and having children are such a big part of life; they provide a form of validation, of worthiness, of meaning.
The only other thing that validates each of us more, makes life more meaningful, is love.
If you have a partner who validates you, appreciates you and what you do then you have an extraordinary love, a true love.
If your partner is not doing this for you, and this is where many relationships run into trouble, then you may begin to resent them. You may even seek someone else whom you feel or think validates you, seemingly makes your life more worthwhile.
Ultimately, it is you who has to grow, to leave your baggage behind and move forward and make a loving contribution to life and the world around you. (A negative contribution, such as anger and violence do not do this, they only make you have further to journey.)
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There are no catches, we just want you (and the world) to be more loving and not have to make the same painful mistakes we did.