Another study – besides ours – suggests that inn love, as with genies, you only get three wishes.
The more traits you pick that are above the average, the lower the statistical odds that you’ll find a match. Three is the tipping point, suggests author Ty Tashiro.
For example, if you are in a room of 100 men and you choose men who are of average income, looks and height you will have, statistically, only 13 suitors out of 100 to choose from. Increase your criteria to an attractive man at least 6-feet tall who makes over $85,000 and you’re left with only one!
Tashiro, a professor at the Center for Addictions, Personality, and Emotion Research at the University of Maryland, “All this wishing has led to a case of wanting everything and getting nothing.” Rather he suggests dating should be “about learning to weed out the undesirable traits and rethinking our views about what really matters in a romantic partner.”
He also notes looks are not a predictor of sexual satisfaction, nor do they correlate to happier marriages. There “is no reliable association between physical attractiveness and relationship satisfaction”. Instead, a study from the University of Tennessee found the most physically attractive men were least satisfied with their marriages.
He proposes the best personality indicator for sustaining a loving relationship is – “agreeableness: aka the nice guy.” This is someone who is “courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured, cooperative, forgiving, soft-hearted and tolerant.” A study of 168 couples found “the best variable for predicting who would stay married, even better than love, expressions of affection or negativity, was responsiveness, which is closely related to the trait of agreeableness”.
“Men high in agreeableness are not only more likely to be kind, but also more likely to keep the sexual desire alive in relationships.”
In other words, when looking for marriage material, nice guys should finish first. This is equally true for men looking for women: Niceness trumps all! Also, nice guys tend to stay nice. Looks and money do not come with a lifelong guarantee.