Find True Love

Is an emotion trying to tell you something right now?

When you feel a strong emotion, stop and figure out what the increased energy flow (or blockage) is trying to inform you.

Ask yourself questions that will help identify emotions, such as why you were angry or fearful in the first place, why you were unable to be more ‘loving’. What stopped your energy flowing harmoniously? Was it something real or your perception?

All energy conveys information. Once you recognise what information that energy is trying to communicate to you, you can then do something about it.

Recall how energy is neither good nor bad; it’s how energy patterns build upon one another or become chaotic that makes you perceive something as good or bad, pleasurable or painful.

Find a way to replace them with healthier emotions, with a better flow of energy.

The laws of science show that things balance-out over the long-term; so if you’ve had a hard time and felt down lately prepare for things to rebound and improve.

Rather than be afraid and do nothing, do the opposite – do something. The wheel of life will continue to turn: it is up to you to move and grow with it . There is a saying that “sometimes life gives you a shakeup to help you wake up”.

A major secret to finding true love is that there are several things you need to fulfil to have a happy and satisfying life. What are these intangible needs?

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs  says we each start our life’s journey seeking and meeting physical needs, such as water, food and shelter – and sex.

Once you obtain most of these basic necessities you then seek safety and security, the next level up the hierarchy or pyramid. Most of us try to obtain these by getting a good job to provide money for somewhere to live, a house and maybe then start a family.

But these are still physical things and don’t actually provide all the safety and security you need. For example, you can have water, food, shelter and sex; but still don’t feel safe or secure emotionally or mentally.

Accordingly, you and your partner also need to feel emotionally and mentally safe and secure. You also need to feel secure enough so that your energy, or what might be called your spirit and soul, flows freely.

We all need a safe and secure relationship, as that’s where you can truly share your self with another.

Depth and intimacy of connection is the difference between a friendship and a loving relationship.

When you open and share your inner most self, the energy essence of you or what has traditionally been called your heart, to another you invite them to open and share the same with you.

If you can’t open your heart how do you expect them to open theirs?

If you don’t open to each other you’ll remain acquaintances doing a dance of daily domestic life and never truly connect. When you share your inner most selves you create connections beyond the physical, beyond the mental. Creating such connections lifts your love out of the ordinary.

Try to see the many facets of others; try to know your partner’s inner most self, their inner most thoughts and feelings, their deepest stirrings. By doing this you’ll know your own deeper stirrings too.

You can never truly know your partner, as they – like you – are continually changing, growing and interacting. As thing continually change around and between you, you need to continually revisit and reconnect with each other.

To be truly together is forgiving and understanding that your partner is as human as you are. They’ll commit mistakes, just as you commit them. Accept their humanity with all the frailty you are prone to. Add a little forgiveness.

Above all, make them feel safe and secure with you. This is key. Just as you want to be with people who make your feel, certain, safe and secure; so too do others, especially your partner.

A secret of true love is to not look for differences, but rather to create connections.

What do you tend to do? Do you focus on differences between you and others? If you look for and focus on differences that’s what you’ll find. Or do you seek and build connections? Look for things in common then you’ll find them.

Unfortunately, today’s modern lifestyle sees more of us connect less than ever before. Mobile phones and texts, the internet and emails, sees people communicate indirectly rather than in person.

But it’s through personal connection that you meet people and find out with whom you can connect best. A 2011 survey by Relationships Australia found the majority of people met their partners:
- through friends,
- at social occasions, or
- at work.
Only 4% met their partner online.

It also noted the main challenge to finding a partner is meeting enough new people. As the adage suggests, it takes a lot of kissing frogs to find a prince. It can be challenging – even painful – meeting, dating and realising that someone is not quite the person you seek and then breaking up with them. Dealing with other people is the hardest thing you will ever do. How much of yourself are you prepared to risk? You need to be active, courageous and willing to talk to people. You need to be brave and risk rejection!

Get out there, meet and talk to people, connect with people. When talking to someone ask them about themselves; people generally like to be asked and talk about themselves. Use this to your advantage by asking a question or two to get a conversation going. Then listen.

If you already have a partner, or just met a prospective partner, have you noticed how most couples tend to share negatives, share worries caused by daily life? While you need to address these, you also need to share your positives and connections in order to balance your energy, your life, your love.

Everyone in a relationship has to feel safe and secure.
We each have to be able to speak up, say how we feel and what we like and don’t like, what our dreams are along with what our concerns and fears are.
You each need to work towards meeting this basic need.

Are there really rules of dating and love?
There are a range of ‘rules’ that we often hear about love.
For example, some people say you shouldn’t call someone you’ve just dated for at least three days.
You’ve probably heard of some of these ‘rules’ yourself and even tried to apply them…isn’t that what you are ‘supposed to do’?

All we can say is don’t subject yourself to ‘rules’ – and certainly don’t play games. Playing games is one of the worst things you can do when it comes to serious dating.

One reason? Men aren’t very good at playing non-sporting games – and generally dont know how to play games of love.
So if you play games, especially to take control, they can just get confused.
(Well, that’s what some of our good single male friends tell us!)

Worse still, playing games or using rules means that your date (and potential life partner) will find it harder to determine just who you are – and if you are a good match for them.

Rather, be courteous and honest. If you like someone, send them a text or email and thank them for a good date.
If you’d like to catch up again to see how compatible you both are- ask to do so. If not, say so directly.

The book, ‘How to Find True Love’ doesn’t refer to rules, but rather ‘truths’ of love – truths that help make it easier to find the love you’ve always dreamt of having in your life.

Fill in the Form below to get a copy of my book  that deals with dating rules and truths… and much more to help you with the tricky subject of true love!

We all know from first hand experience that love is powerful. Some people say it’s the greatest and most wonderful thing you can ever experience.
We all want it.

Consider a survey that asked “would you marry somebody who had everything you looked for in a partner, but whom you were not in love with?”More than 90 percent of woman and 86 percent of men said “no”!

But just what is love?

There are as many different perceptions and definitions of love as there are people, as we each experience it differently.
This is one reason why it’s so hard to find; we each have different expectations and experiences of what love actually is. You, and any potential partner, have
to be able to bridge the gaps in expectations.
Even when you look at love objectively, there are discrepancies.
For example, some scientists say love doesn’t exist, while others say it’s all in your head.
Up until recently, most scientists said love was about chemistry and the interaction of molecules and hormones within you.

They believed that chemicals with big names such as noradrenalin, dopamine, phenyl ethylamine, oxytocin and others, forced you to act in certain ways and create what you perceived as love.
Yet, when you see someone at a distance or talk to them on the phone those molecules don’t cross the intervening space and trigger a chemical reaction and the sensation of love. There’s something more powerful.
Science now shows that those chemicals are set in motion by electromagnetic signaling, or what you might simply think of as waves of energy!

(The next few paragraphs are a little technical, but stick with it as it’s important.)
These waves are amplified by those chemicals, which in turn further strengthen those waves to create harmonious energy patterns in your head, heart and body.

This is like pushing someone who is already on a swing; each push sends the swing higher.
Another way to think of this is that love is like your personality or character. You can’t pinpoint your character, it can’t be seen or its location determined; but it exists and certainly impacts the world. Neurologists know that while we all have the same chemicals, bodies with similar brains and number of nerves in each, the way those nerves are connected is different in each of us.
Your experiences, learnings and resulting nerve connections are unique and how energy flows through them is what makes you who you are and forms your personality.
When you’re ‘in love’ your energies, including your brain and heart waves, as well as chemicals, emotions, thoughts and actions are flowing harmoniously together and focused in one direction.
This is a little like a laser, which brings together and amplifies waves of light energy to make a powerful and illuminating beam that’s stronger than the individual light waves on their own.
This results in one of the strongest, most harmonious energy patterns you’ll ever feel in your heart, in your mind and your body—in your life.
It’s this bringing together and focusing of your energies that makes you feel so good and is one reason why we all want to be in love.

So now you know that love is, ultimately, energy!

The ancients knew this, with many cultures and religions describing love as an energy, a power—the ‘power of love’.
More recently, medicine has recognized different types of energy flowing and interacting within you, with doctors measuring heart waves (electrocardiograms or ECGs) and brain waves (electroencephalograms or EEGs).
Science has also shown that your five senses of hearing, smell, sight, touch and taste are all electromagnetically-based; as are your perceptions, feelings, thoughts and memories.
Biologists have also recently discovered that there are also direct currents flowing through cells that encase your nerve cells ….and that harmonious energy flow is important to the quality of your feelings, thoughts and your life.
As such, you’re not just a physical or chemical being, you’re also an energy being!
Accordingly, it’s more accurate to say the “energy” or “power” of love, rather than “chemistry” of relationships.

How that energy flows and interacts within you and the world around you is important to your love life.
This is a big change to how most people used to think of love, previously thinking of it as the soul-less interaction of chemicals. This tended to make many of us think that we were at the mercy of those chemicals, that we couldn’t do anything about love; other than just wait until we ‘bumped into’ someone, whose chemicals interacted well with ours to experience love.
That’s no longer the case.
You have more control than you realized over love!
Realizing this is the first secret to finding it. Start to look at love this way and you’ll make a difference to how you approach it, to finding love. It helped us to find true love!

“There may be no other word in the English language that is so loaded with meaning, emotion, opinion, fear, heartbreak or joy.
Yet, in the human experience there is also nothing more important. We can have amazing kids, a great job, a fit body, financial abundance, emotional strength and spiritual resolve…and yet, without someone to share it all with, our lives have less meaning and substance.
Experiencing great love allows you to revolutionize virtually every aspect of your life.”

Anthony Robbins and Cloe Madanes

Did you get together with someone because you considered them your ‘other’ half or that they ‘completed you’?

If so, were you aware that these other ‘halves’ are often things you’ve not developed in yourself.

And you may reach a stage where you realise that your partner doesn’t ‘complete’ you – and so you try to complete yourself.

In doing so you may have to bargain or battle for power. This is where many relationships end up.

You might think it’s the end and look elsewhere for what’s missing, as in a dalliance or affair, as there seems to be no other way out of what seems like stagnation or a conundrum.
Other couples stay together, unhappily, because they simply don’t know what to do or how to progress to the next phase, how to find balance, how to balance love.

When actually in this stage of relationships, the key is to learn more – so get the free book from the home page.

You’ve heard about and seen images of cupid with this little cherub shooting his bow and arrows of love and once you were struck you could do nothing but fall in love. But did you know that he was just half of a duo dedicated to love in ancient times?

Cupid was in love with Psyche – and vice versa.

The fact that most of us are only aware of Cupid may explain why so many of us have trouble with love – we’ve only got half the story! To better understand love and find our own true love we need to learn more about Psyche.

The very word Psyche comes from the Greek term for the soul.

As such, Cupid is the physical aspect of love, while Psyche is the spiritual side.

The ancient Greeks believed we need both for true love – a physical and spiritual connection. Today, the focus is often on the former, how someone looks; rather than their spirit, their soul, their character and personality – even though the later is more important in the long-term and doesn’t fade with time.

Psyche was considered much smarter than Cupid as she overcame many challenges for them to be together. The fable was often recounted to demonstrate how by combining physical and spiritual aspects love is able to overcome all obstacles.

Interestingly, Psyche began her life as a mortal and became a divine being – and order was restored when she reached heaven.  This echoes later scriptures that say a soul must earn its place in heaven while in a physical body.

Even today, you still need both spiritual as well as physical aspects of love for true love to blossom.

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Here, in a nutshell, are the secrets we’ve found to finding true love:

1. Realize there are several types of love – physical, mental, spiritual and true love.
2. Love is not chemistry. It’s energy – in particular a flow of energy – this the saying ‘the power of love’.
3. This means you’re not at the mercy of mechanical chemicals and not able to do anything. Rather, by better understanding energy you can understand how to find love.
4. Determine why you want love? Do you want it to feel better, to be like your friends or because you want the noblest thing in life? Your relationship to love, how you think about it, is often a reflection of your relationship to yourself.
5. Strong, true, relationships depend on strong self-awareness. If you don’t ‘love’ yourself how can you expect someone else to love you for who you are?! 
6. Find someone who’s energy adds to yours. Finding a partner whose ‘love energy’ adds to yours is like someone pushing you on a swing, it will go higher and higher.
7. Don’t just focus on physical attraction and love. Ensure you add emotional, mental and spiritual love to your relationship and love making to create something even stronger.
8. We each have five needs that have to be met for us to have a happy and successful life. Love and connection is just one of those needs. (See here for more details on these needs and how they relate to love).
9. Find a partner who’ll help you fulfil those other needs and you’ll find true love – and the key to a successful relationship.
10. You’ll know when you find true love as it’s when you partner values you for who you are and encourages you to be you and loves you for who you are (sometimes even despite who you are)!

More details on these 10 truths of love can be found in the book at http://www.findtruelovebook.com. Download the free e-book to get started now to find love.